Red Light, Green Light

The Curve: A Cautionary Tale

2011-12-29T02:15:00.000-08:00

As a single 20-something living in a major city, I'm well aware of the many facets and intricacies of The Curve. I've received it. I've administered it. It is a powerful tool that is being used daily by the millions of young Americans that find ourselves engulfed in this dating world so affectionately known as "the game."

So, many of you might wonder, what is The Curve?

I could be lazy and just give you the definition as it appears in a slang dictionary or redirect you to how it is used on twitter. But, I'm hard-working. So if I were to define it myself, I would say The Curve is any unwanted or unexpected redirection given towards a person who is romantically interested in you. I like to think of any consensual relationship between two people that are mutually interested in each other kind of like parallel lines. I give you what you give me, and everyone's happy. The Curve comes into play when someone decides to divert from that give-and-take exchange and throw the other person off track. Essentially, to Curve is to say, "I see what you're trying to do, but I'm not feeling you THAT heavy, so I'm gonna play you just enough to push you to the side without rejecting you completely, just in case I change my mind later." However, The Curve comes in many ways, shapes and forms. This post was created to define some common Curves so that you can recognize when The Curve is happening to you.

The Lazy Curve
These are the ones that aren't creative in any way. The Curves that are so obviously a Curve, that the Curvee (yes, I just created a word) has no choice but to just shake their head. These are the Curves that are so uninventive that they border on the line of being cliche. Lazy Curves are given to people who you don't even care enough about to come up with a creative lie for.
EXAMPLES: "My bad, I fell asleep." "You hit me up? Oh, my phone was off." "I swear I texted you! I guess it didn't go through."

The Brother Curve
You ever hear that phrase, "Good guys always finish last"? I'm willing to bet that whoever came up with that was a victim of the Brother Curve. This is an avoidable Curve, but a popular one nonetheless. Brother Curves can happen one of two ways. More times than not, they happen when a guy likes a girl, but he doesn't establish himself quickly enough as a potential partner. This restricts him to the "friend zone," and that's a tough location to escape. By the time he gets around to letting her know how he really feels, he's already "like a brother to me." The other (less popular) way that the Brother Curve happens is when a guy tries to get on the inside track with a girl, but she recognizes it early and turns the relationship into a friendship before he has a chance to even try. Then, by the time he finally does try to get at her, she pretends that she never knew he was feeling her and tells him, "I think it's better if we just remain friends." Cold world.

The "I'm Not Looking" Curve
Let's be clear: Any time you try to get at someone and they tell you, "I'm not looking to date anyone right now," it is absolutely a Curve. Why, you ask? Because that's never really true. Someone might tell themselves that they're not trying to date anyone, but if they meet someone interesting that they're attracted to, do you think that this pledge they've allegedly made to themselves will be strong enough to stop them from dating said person?? Of course not. I could tell myself I don't plan to date, but if I meet someone interesting tomorrow, I'm going to change my mind. That's just a fact. "I'm not dating right now" really just means "I don't find you that interesting." I dare someone to tell me I'm wrong about this.

The Smiley Face Curve
You ever throw someone a text with something really flattering or vulnerable, and their response was less than satisfactory? You were kinda hoping they'd return the sentiment in some way, but instead they give you some generic, half-assed response? For example, you text them with something like, "Just letting you know I was thinking about you. I can't wait to see you." And they hit you back with, ":-)" That's a Curve. That colon-dash-closed parenthese combo is letting you know that they were NOT thinking of you, and yes, they absolutely CAN wait to see you. They're sort of flattered, but not enough to even type any actual words in the text. That Smiley Curve is a deadly one. If you get one of these, just put your phone away and chop it up as an L.

The Preemptive Curve
These Curves are only for savvy participants of "the game." When you've been around long enough and have experienced your fair share of Curves, you become smarter. You can tell when you're about to get Curved; you can almost see it coming. You see, some people (usually women) are natural-born Curvers. It's in their blood. They Curve so often and with such ease that they don't even seem to notice themselves doing it. True veterans can pinpoint a natural-born Curver as soon as they meet them. In cases such as these, some people decide to administer the Preemptive Curve, which is, of course, to Curve before being Curved. This is all done to acquire the all-powerful and elusive "Upper Hand." Most natural-born Curvers Curve at such a rapid rate that they have never had it happen to them. The Preemptive Curve can go one of two ways: either the Curver is intrigued by the lack of thirst and becomes more interested from being on the other side of the Curve for once, or they are offended by getting Curved before getting a chance to Curve and they walk away from the situation altogether. This is all very complex and I don't want to lose any of you, so let's just move on.

The Repeated Question Curve
These are the Curves given from people who at least have the decency not to lie to you. Repeated Question Curves come into play when someone asks a question that steps across the comfort line of the other person. Sure, they kick it with you, and they like you enough, just don't start asking them any personal questions about feelings or anything silly like that. RQC's usually play out like this: "So where do we stand right now? Like, what do think is going on between me and you?" "Me and you? What you mean, what do I think??" Obviously, this person is Curving the question because the answer might ruin the meaningless relationship that currently exists. The RQC's effectiveness is directly related to the Curvee's level of insecurity. If you find someone insecure enough, you can utilize the Repeated Question Curve for years at a time.

The Silence Curve
This Curve is possibly the deadliest of them all. It's one thing to be told that "there was a change of plans" or that "I had to work late." Those are Curves that we as humans can deal with. We know we're probably getting Curved, but there's still a possibility that there is some merit and truth behind these dubious words. The Silence Curve, on the other hand, leaves no room for hope. These are the Curves that occur when you hit someone up and hear nothing in return. You left a text, voicemail, email and twitter DM. They responded to none of them. Everything was all good just a week ago, but suddenly they fell off the face of the planet. The Silence Curve is a tough pill to swallow.

I'm sure there are more Curve types that I'm forgetting, but these are the ones that I could think of off the top of my head. The interesting thing about Curves, though, is that EVERYONE gets them and EVERYONE gives them. Of the seven I've named, you've probably given/received/given & received all seven of them. It's kind of sad when you think about it; we live in a society where Curving is so prevalent that we don't ever take the time to ask ourselves why we even bother dealing with people that we're just going to Curve anyway.

Can you imagine how much time would be saved if we were just honest to each other and only dealt with people that we planned on taking seriously? But then again, where's the fun in that?? And so, The Curve will continue on. Readers, beware; The Curve might happen to you sooner than you know it. Be safe out there.

The Benefits of Insecurity

2011-08-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

Sunday night, a friend of mine presented me with an interesting question. She asked, "Do males worry about their appearance as much as females do?" My answer, of course, was no. She then wondered why, and I told her that men aren't subjected to the same physical standards and expectations that women are. Whether fair or unfair, women are often judged by their looks. While a favorable appearance surely benefits a man, I feel that males are judged more by their wit & personality than simply by how attractive they are. (My views on these judgment differences apply not only to judgment in romantic situations, but also to the ways we are judged in the work force. Men are rarely hired for their good looks, and women often complain about their struggles to be taken seriously as intellectuals.)

Our back and forth eventually led to the topic of insecurity; specifically, are men as insecure as women? And is media to blame for all of our insecurities?? From my perspective, men tend not to obsess over their physical appearance in the ways that women do. This is not only because men judge women based on their attractiveness, but even more so because women judge each other's appearances quite critically as well. I have a running joke with a bunch of my friends that men get fly to go to the club and impress women, and women get fly to go to the club and impress women. It seems no one really ever tries to impress us men. Because a woman's worth is often based heavily on her looks, women often become self-conscious about how they appear. Is media to blame for this? Or maybe society in general?? I would say yes... but only to a degree. Not to mention, everyone has their own understanding for what constitutes as "attractive", so it's a little deeper than we realize. But I'll revisit this later.

The other question was whether or not men are insecure. And the answer is yes, of course we are. Maybe not about our looks, but about other things. Since it's easiest to begin by blaming media and society, let's think about the stereotypes that refer to men. Loves sports, eats meat, possesses physical strength, lacks emotions, and is a breadwinner. For the vegetarian ballet dancer who likes chick flicks and makes less than his girlfriend, there are sure to be a bevy of insecurities that have nothing to do with his looks. So I would argue that media and society have affected the way we view ourselves, as well.

But I think that our insecurities stem from more than just what we see on TV or hear from our friends in the playground or at the water cooler. I would argue that the strongest insecurities come from our households and upbringing. Let's take the age-old stereotype about black hair. TV and media tell us that women are most beautiful with long and straight hair, so short and kinky hair must be ugly. But what about the black girl who grew up with a mother & sisters who were all natural and who told her that perming was a way of conforming to white standards and turning her back on her heritage? For her, I think she'd feel a lot more insecure about straightening her hair than anything else, despite what the media says. Or let's say a guy grew up in a family where men were expected to know their way around a kitchen (like Italians, for instance)? Don't you think he might feel a bit insecure about himself if he didn't know how to cook? The way we grow up determines what we feel is necessary and acceptable, and it determines whether we feel that we're living up to the proper expectations. After all, home is where you should be most comfortable. If you're not living up to the standards you set for yourself at home, you'll certainly feel insecure, regardless of what the TV tells you.

This all leads me to my final point, and the reasoning for this post's title: Insecurity is actually a good thing. At the end of our conversation, my friend argued that if men aren't insecure, then women shouldn't be either. But that got me thinking, shouldn't we all be a little insecure? Granted, there are some insecurities that are frivolous and probably should be ignored. But for those insecurities that hold value, I think it's good for us not to be completely comfortable with ourselves. Insecurity keeps us leveled. Without any self-conscious thoughts, we'd all be self-absorbed and egotistical, thinking we could do no wrong. And while we're on the topic of looks, have you ever seen someone who was both unattractive and overweight, yet they couldn't be convinced that they weren't sexy?? Don't you think this person could benefit from a little insecurity? Wouldn't it likely get them in a gym, or convince them to wear more modest outfits? I believe that much of what we do to keep ourselves on point stems from insecurity. We tell ourselves, I'm gaining weight, I should go work out. Or, I'll never find a job when I graduate, I should improve my grades. Or, I'm not very engaging to women, I need to work on my conversation skills. Are any of these bad things? Our insecurities are what keep us from becoming the type of people that are inappropriately confident for no good reason.

Some insecurities undoubtedly come from media and television. However, I think most come from our upbringing. Regardless of the source, though, I think being a little insecure is a good thing. Our insecurities are what keep us in check with reality, and they're often the most motivating sources for self-improvement. We say that we wish we weren't insecure, but I think it's only natural to be. Besides, can you imagine what we'd all be like if we actually weren't?

Watching, Hoping & The Unknown

2011-06-13T15:28:00.000-07:00

Considering my hatred for LeBron & his manufactured band of brothers that has been ongoing since the start of the NBA season, you would think it would be relatively easy for me to put my thoughts into words the day after the Miami Heat lost in the NBA Finals. After all, this is what I wanted. But honestly, I had some trouble deciding where to start.

Throughout the regular season and into the playoffs, I watched and hoped. I watched "The Decision" and hoped the rumors of him choosing Miami were incorrect. I watched the Heat's premature celebration last July and hoped that they'd regret it by never winning a championship. I watched their 5-game losing streak in March and hoped it was a sign that indicated some internal flaw in the makeup of a roster that most thought was inherently unfair. I watched their "fan base" suddenly grow and hoped that those same fair-weather fans would somehow get hit by a truck as big as the bandwagon that they jumped onto. But most importantly, I watched all of their games. And I hoped to see them lose.

The Heat lost some games throughout the year, but not enough to satisfy me, as they found themselves in the NBA Finals having lost only three games in the first 3 playoff series combined. I had been secretly rooting for the Dallas Mavericks to win it all after my Knicks were swept and the Mavs ousted Portland from the first round of the playoffs. But more than anything, I just wanted to see the Heat NOT win.

For LeBron/Heat fans, they saw my anti-Miami rhetoric as "hating". They didn't understand why I would root against a man with out-of-this-world talent. They didn't see the big deal with him wanting to join another great player to win a ring. If anything, they said, it showed great resolve and unselfishness for him to be willing to share the spotlight with another superstar. They also didn't see why anyone should care about Cleveland or its fans, because they were just a bunch of sore losers who were salty that a star bolted from their crummy city. They didn't see any reason why James would stay in Cleveland, and they didn't understand why "The Decision" was a bad idea.

Although I feel that I tackled this topic thoroughly enough when it happened, allow me to once and for all explain why I actively cheered against LeBron. Indeed, LeBron is a phenomenal, once-in-a-lifetime athlete. That's precisely why I wanted see a championship built around him. Can you imagine if Michael Jordan left the Bulls in 1990 and joined the Celtics? Sure, he would have won titles with Bird and McHale, but would he ever have reached his full potential? Would we ever really have been afforded the opportunity to appreciate his talent?? Would he ever have become Michael freakin' Jordan?? I vote no. And I know the MJ/LBJ comparisons are overdone and unfair, but really, we probably haven't seen a guy with this much skill and athleticism since... I don't know when. He's like a Shawn Kemp-Dominique Wilkins-Magic Johnson hybrid. It's unreal. And to think that we'd never see him reach his full potential as the head honcho of his own squad really bothered me as a fan. Even more, it bothered me that he didn't care or realize how much he was cheating us.

It also bothered me that he didn't want to put a team on his back and destroy those of his peers that possessed similar talent, like Wade and Bosh. Instead, he wanted to join them to destroy everyone else. It actually felt a little bit like when you're playing a game of pickup basketball and there's three guys who show up together who are all over 6'5". The minute they walk into the gym, everyone knows the game's about to change. Then, when you try to split up into teams, they refuse to play unless they can all play together. It seems ridiculous because they're already better than everyone else, but they don't have any desire to make it fair, competitive, or even fun. They just want to win. What's the point? And what satisfaction do you get when the expectation was that you were supposed to dominate, anyway? LeBron, Wade and Bosh were those guys. And naturally, everyone loves cheering against those types of douchebags. So I watched, and I hoped.

Now let's fast forward to about two weeks ago. The Mavs beat the Thunder to advance to the Finals, and the Heat advance by defeating the Bulls in 5 games. LeBron turns into a monster, hitting tough shots from all over the floor and putting the team on his back, doe. He looked unstoppable. Couple that with Wade's explosiveness and Bosh's rebounding and post scoring, and all of the Heat detractors were suddenly thinking the same thing. Oh, sh*t. They just might pull it off. This sucks.

Enter Dirk Nowitzki and the Mavericks. I won't bother writing about the Mavericks' determination or Dirk's stellar play, because we all saw that with our own eyes. I won't even bother rehashing all of LeBron's late-game disappearing acts, because that story has been discussed ad nauseum over the past week. What I will discuss, however, is my own theory as to why he played so small. Before we get there, though, let's not forget that this is strikingly similar to LeBron's playoff performance last year as a Cav against the Celtics. He found himself down in the series and suddenly seemed uninterested in performing like a superstar. That's the best word to describe it, really: uninterested. Aloof, almost, like he didn't care. And we excused it with sex scandal rumors and imaginary injuries, but really, I just don't think he played that hard.

After "The Decision," I rationalized it by telling myself that he quit on his squad because he knew he was leaving and he was simply tired of carrying a bunch of bad teammates every night. That theory is still completely possible... but what about this year? That excuse is no longer valid, because he was playing with Bosh and Wade this time around. It's not as if he needed to do everything anymore, but he still needed to show up and fulfill his end of the deal.

My theory? LeBron is a frontrunner who doesn't want pressure. You ever notice that some of LeBron's best performances come when his team already has a lead? When his opponent is down, he's great at putting his foot on their neck and delivering the finishing blow. But when the pressure is on and a win looks unlikely, he shrinks. With the exception of that playoff game in 2007 when he scored 25 straight team points to beat the Pistons, he has never really shown the capability to come from behind and dominate down the stretch. He isn't a guy who you ever feel comfortable with as a fan. Some teams have a guy that fans can look at and say, "As long as we've got _______, we've got a chance. I'm not worried." Guys like Wade, Nowitzki, and Bryant. LeBron has never lived up to that billing, and I'm willing to bet that an honest Heat fan would admit as much. In fact, I would even venture the possibility that his unwillingness to be a late-game killer was a part of the reason he went to Miami in the first place. He probably figured that with Wade there, he wouldn't have to put the team on his shoulders, and no one would notice his aloofness. Last night was a testament to that exact theory, as the Heat lost and LeBron again looked lost and uninterested. So as I watched and hoped, this time, my hope finally came true.

(This is a slightly non-sequitur aside, but I would be remiss not to mention that I question if the dynamic of Wade & LeBron will ever work, because they play so similarly. Both guys play better when the other's not on the floor. It would be interesting to see if one of them gets injured and the remaining player is left to play with Bosh if the Heat become a better team as a result.)

More than just the fact that the Heat lost, I think the direct contrast to the Mavs made it seem all the more sweeter. Instead of going into Monstars mode, the Mavericks stuck with their one star and decided that they would take their chances by putting the right pieces around him. You know, the old school way. Instead of broadcasting his free agency decision in a prime time cable special, Nowitzki quietly re-signed with the Mavs, and most people didn't even notice or talk about it. Instead of quitting on his teammates when he felt that the talent around him wasn't good enough, Dirk stayed put and trusted his franchise to figure it out, all while improving his own talents to make himself a better player. And instead of cowering in the moment of the biggest basketball stage in the world, Dirk stepped his game up, playing better than he ever has and putting to bed any notion that he wasn't a winner.

As a basketball purist, this is what we watch for. We want to see the hardest working guys get the most success, not the guys who cut corners. We want to see the unexpected dark horse come out on top, not the guys who everyone brushes off with, "yeah, but they was supposed to win, anyway." We want to see the karmic comeuppance when a team that declares it will win "not five, not six, not seven..." championships three months before a season even starts ends up losing to an underrated squad and is forced to swallow its collective pride. In essence, we like when the guy who thinks he's better than everyone else really isn't. For us purists, Sunday night felt like justice for everything that is right in the basketball world. Finally, peace had been restored.

Despite all of this, I still had a hard time figuring out where I wanted to go with this article. The reason, I think, is because for LeBron, it's hard to tell where his career trajectory will go from here. The purists (along with many casual fans) will continue to root against him. The Miami bandwagon has cleared out quicker than the fans at American Airlines Arena last night, so he doesn't exactly have much of a fan base. And I wonder how much his teammates trust him to be clutch after he's all but proven to them that they can't rely on him. Most importantly, I wonder how he views himself. Does he see himself as a victim of poor circumstance? Does he think less of himself as a player, and perhaps even question his own capabilities? Or maybe he just maintains his ego-inflated, primadonna status and continues to believe that he can do no wrong? Either way, the best thing for LeBron to do would be to spend the summer in the gym, work on the parts of his game that need improvement, and come back in the fall as an absolute unstoppable force. He has the talent. I just don't know if he has the will.

I also wondered today about 20 years from now. I imagine myself with children, hopefully boys. And hopefully those boys will be as much into sports as I am. I wondered what would happen if one of my boys - fascinated by the ability of this guy named LeBron James that he saw on YouTube - looked up LeBron's stats. I imagine that he might ask me what it was like to watch him play back in the 2000s and 2010s. As things currently stand, it's likely that I'll tell my son that LeBron was an amazing athlete, but he never really figured out how to be a champion. I might say that LeBron was kinda like that other guy that I told him about named Dominique Wilkins. I'll probably even tell him that I rooted against LeBron, and I'll tell him about how I watched and hoped.

I imagine he'll ask me why James spent of half his career in Cleveland and the other half in Miami. He might ask why he went to Miami when they already had that Hall of Famer Dwyane Wade. He might even question why LeBron didn't try harder to figure out how to be a winner. "Hey Dad," he'll ask me, "why'd he do that stuff?"

And I'll just shrug and tell him, "Son, I don't know."

Why Kool Herc is a Big Deal

2011-01-31T17:37:00.000-08:00

I recently found out via the internets that DJ Kool Herc was suffering from a major illness and was just released from the hospital due to what some people are saying was kidney problems. Currently, he's home, but he's in need of further surgery and still has outstanding hospital bills. The problem is that he doesn't have the money to pay them.

For those that don't know, DJ Kool Herc (born Clive Campbell) is the man widely credited for originating the sound that we now know as hip-hop. At 1520 Sedgwick Ave. in the Bronx, NY, Herc looped beat breaks in old records to create the first semblance of the boom-bap sound that has come to define hip-hop music. Basically, he's the James Naismith of this hip-hop sh*t.

As someone who is passionate about hip-hop music, it obviously bothers me that Herc is in this position. However, I understand that hip-hop in the late 1970s was not as lucrative as it is today, especially not for DJs who weren't even vocal artists. In fact, I don't even think this is the first instance we've seen of a rap pioneer being financially strapped. But my issue isn't so much with the fact that he needs the money. My real problem is that we even know about it.

The fact that his sister had to publicly ask for donations over the internet lets me know one thing: people in hip-hop are not doing a sufficient job of preserving the history and respecting the legends. With people like Jay-Z and 50 Cent literally becoming millionaires because of hip-hop, it should have taken no more than a few phone calls to solve whatever financial problems Kool Herc has. Given that a lot of new artists have benefited greatly from a genre that Herc created, they owe him that. Using the Naismith analogy once more, this situation is no different than if Dr. Naismith were strapped for cash and Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James sat back and did nothing. There's something wrong with that.

Let me refer back to sports once more. There is a common practice among sports franchises when a team has any type of internal argument or conflict called "keeping things in house." This basically means that whatever problems a team has needs to be handled internally without the involvement of the press or any outside sources. They need not know of the team's problems, because the problems should be handled before they ever become a bigger issue. Similarly, I feel like the Kool Herc situation should have been handled "in house" within the hip-hop community.

I have to be fair and admit that a few artists have done their part. DJ Premier has posted donation information on his blog. DJ Tony Touch has planned a charity even t for Herc. Artists like Diddy and Crooked I have promised to donate money via Twitter. But I think the greater issue inherent in all of this is hip-hop's refusal to properly acknowledge its history. Five years ago, Nas made an album called Hip Hop Is Dead. He received some backlash within the hip-hop community because of this, but the content of the album couldn't have been more on point. One of the common themes throughout the album was that artists nowadays have no appreciation and/or knowledge of the people responsible for originating the genre. To compare, can you imagine if President Obama wasn't aware of the contributions of Martin Luther King Jr., and didn't care to find out? And then what if Martin Luther King didn't know who W.E.B. DuBois was? I firmly believe that historical knowledge is necessary in order to fully comprehend your current place in society. In order to fully understand where you're going, you must first understand and appreciate that from which you came.

I also think back to the Jena 6 controversy that sparked a few years ago. After the issue became national news, thousands of people went down to Jena to protest, including rappers Mos Def and Bun B. While there, Mos Def did an interview that I never forgot. He basically went on a rant complaining that although he reached out to plenty of people, almost no one from the hip-hop community showed up. He made the point that rappers always want to make their voice heard when they have an album coming out or when they want to brag about how much money they have, but rarely ever step up when it comes to important issues. This made me love Mos even more than I already did, because he was absolutely right. I feel like this Kool Herc situation is another instance of the same problem. Rappers need to put their money where their mouth is and stand for something important for once.

No matter how successful you become, you are nothing if you can't appreciate the people who helped you get there. I hope a few rappers end up reading this, because they don't seem to know it yet.

My Favorite YouTube Clips

2011-01-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

YouTube. The greatest way to waste time since 2005. I can't tell you how many times I've gone to YouTube to watch a video and found myself repeatedly clicking on those related videos on the right toolbar. Next thing I know, I've been watching videos for the past hour, and I can't even remember what brought me to YouTube in the first place. I remember during my sophomore year of college when YouTube had just begun to get popular, my college roommate and I would spend countless hours on YouTube just wasting time. Before I knew it, it would be 2:43 in the morning and I'd realize that I still wasn't done with that essay that was due in 6 hours. However, I wouldn't want you to suffer from the same procrastination penalties that haunted me. So, listed below are my favorite YouTube videos, the ones that I've enjoyed sharing with my friends time and time again. I'm sure there are some that I've forgotten, but such is life. Without further ado...

Teacher Explains the word "nigga"

"Can you hand a nigga a pencil?" A few things about this one. First, I love how they got a black newswoman to cover the story. Second, I love how they tried to portray the kid as a good-natured honor student. I'm almost positive he said the word first, and I'd also guarantee that he's one of the most disruptive kids in the class. He's just a bad-ass kid that wants his teacher to get fired. Third, Mr. Dawson's use of flashcards is absolutely epic. Fourth, the part of the video from 2:28 to 2:43 might be the funniest 15 seconds ever recorded. This video is so awesome, they even spoofed it on The Boondocks.

First!

This video actually inspired my user name as a blogger. This uses a little bit of internet nerd humor, but the fact that someone took the time to make fun of posting first in comment sections is absolutely hilarious to me.

Cuba Gooding Sr. does a Carl Lewis with the Nat'l Anthem

You could easily spend over an hour just watching funny National Anthem videos alone, so I decided to include only my favorite one. This is classic not only because he sings with so much confidence, but also because he's all over the place, he changes the pace mid-song, he switches octaves about 19 times, and he sings the words wrong ("O'er the rampant we watch, through the twilight's last gleaming"). I also love how he begins by simply stating, "Test."

Booker T Calls Hulk Hogan a Nigga

One of the best wrestling accidents of all time. The thing that makes it so funny is not only the fact that he said this on live television about a white person to a white person, but also the fact that you can see the instant regret on his face as soon as he says it. He even hits a double facepalm.

The Most Professional Use Of "Pause"

Gus Johnson is the man. After the Knicks made a trade, he asks long-time Knicks fan Spike Lee what he thinks about it. While listing the new players acquired in the trade, he means to say "I like (Dan) Dickau." Instead, he accidentally says, "I like Dick." For whatever reason, despite the fact that he's conducting an interview, Gus feels the need to say "pause", complete with a very distinguished hand motion. Professional indeed.

Cam'ron on O'Reilly

Another classic. You knew it was on when Cam showed up to The O'Reilly Factor wearing a throwback jersey and a matching fitted. The ignorance was sky-high, because both Cam and Bill O were completely one-sided and unwilling to understand the other's point of view. Best moment: "I got dirt on you, doggie. I'ma get at you in a minute." Also, check out when Stephen Colbert was on O'Reilly Factor. Hilarity ensues.

E-N-J vs. NIKS

Thanks to the internet, this has to be the most popular rap battle between two guys that nobody's ever heard of. And as it turns out, this was "not ya typical rap battle." Sure, nobody likes when someone points in their face. But what I found even more offensive were his terrible bars, which included lines like "I advise you don't really wanna beef with me" and "you could have better gear, couldn't style it on me". Also, peep how his hat goes flying.

The whistles go... whoo whoo!

Of course this would happen in Oakland. I can't decide which part about this video I enjoy the most: the heavy Bay Area accents, the fact that they got the whitest guy in the newsroom to report the story, or the fact that this man actually told the news station that his name was "Bubb Rubb".

Notorious B.U.M.

"I got this trick for you! Are you a freak? Are you a prostitute??" Is it possible that this homeless man from Houston's 3rd Ward is a better rapper than both E-N-J and NIKS? It's debatable. I think what makes this video so enjoyable is not only the fact that he takes the time out to inform us of where he kicks it with his ho, but also the fact that he beatboxes his own chorus, spits a verse, then goes back to the hook. Regardless, I'd argue that he's better than half the industry when he deliver bars like, "Guess what, bitch? Ya get a SSI check!"

Honorable Mention: The Rent Too Damn High, Press Hop 2, Leprechaun in Mobile AL, Double Rainbow, any Nardwuar interview

It's All Greek to Me

2010-11-30T20:00:00.000-08:00

The weekend before Thanksgiving, I did some volunteer work. For the holiday season, one of the local churches I attend conducted an outreach service through which they delivered Thanksgiving meals to at-need families around the DC metro area. I was part of the loading & unloading team, which took 250 meal boxes off the delivery truck and then loaded them into the cars of the volunteers who were to present the meals to the families. After all of the volunteers had left, there were still about 50 boxes left unaccounted for. (Translation: multiple volunteers who had signed up to help deliver boxes didn't show up. Sigh.) So, the rest of us volunteers who were still there took what was left and helped to deliver the meals to the families that were expecting the boxes.

Why am I mentioning any of this? As I was heading home after volunteering, for some reason, Black fraternities and sororities came to mind. When I was in college, I remember the Greeks always mentioning volunteering as their main contribution to society as an organization. I always found it to be somewhat ironic whenever their community service was brought up, because for the most part, very little of it was ever made public. As a college student who never pledged, the things I most associated with Greeks were step shows, hearing them brag about their pledging process, and their strolling getting in my way when I was trying to dance up on a chick at a party. For this reason, I always wondered why these seemed to be the prevalent things that separated them from the rest of us instead of the alleged community service that was supposed to be the foundation for their organizations in the first place.

Furthermore, when you look at the mission statements for the NPHC fraternities, every one of them has a focus on providing service to the community (with the exception of Kappa Alpha Psi, whose only concern seems to be "being really good at everything"). I find it strange that service is such a common theme, yet most of the volunteer service being provided is done in private, unbeknownst to the rest of the college community. How can you attract like-minded individuals with your good deeds if they don't even know that it's being done?

Now don't get me wrong, I think that every non-Greek has had the idea of pledging cross their mind at least once. Even I thought about it for a quick second during my sophomore year (most of you can probably guess which frat I was thinking about). But I never went to an interest meeting, and truth be told, I only really thought about it when I was drunk at parties and I thought it would be cool to stroll around and throw up signs. Needless to say, it's probably better off that I never did it. I would wake up the next day, sober up, and think about whether I was really willing to sacrifice an entire college semester to be bitched around and get my ass beat on a nightly basis. Considering that I only had eight semesters of college, I wasn't willing to throw one away. Plus, I was too stubborn to have a group of my peers tell me what to do for 3 months, so I decided against it.

Which brings me to my next point: pledging. It always bothered me that pledging was such an accepted part of Greek life, yet every organization claims to be a "non-hazing organization". I realize that they have to lie because it's illegal, but a.) why would I want to join a brotherhood that has to lie to me before I even start and b.) why is pledging necessary in the first place? Is beating me with a red & white cane going to make me a better student? Is taking wood gonna make me a better role model?? I also always found it to be a little ass-backwards that most Greeks seems to boast more about what they endured to get into the organization than they boasted about anything productive that they did after they were a member. Not to mention, pledging leads to events like this, and then all the Greeks wanna act all remorseful when it happens. Maybe they should have considered the possible repercussions before they had those girls doing whatever they were doing in the middle of the night. And I have a very hard time believing that they were actually going to get their hair done at 6 in the morning... gimme a break.

I think my main beef with Black Greeks is the overall misrepresentation of the organizations' motives. It's pretty much common knowledge that the ideals that these organizations were built upon are no longer as vital to the fraternities' existence as they were when they were founded. It's not the 1910s anymore. Most people I know who are Greek didn't pledge with any intention of bettering their community or achieving any higher level of academic excellence. In fact, you usually hear the same reasons: "My dad was in the frat, so I wanted to continue the legacy." "My best friend wanted to do it, so I just decided to do it with him." "I figured if I made enough frat connections, it could help me get a job when I graduate." "Honestly, I just wanted to step." And let's not forget the other perks such as popularity and attracting groupies that a lot of guys think about but would never have the gall to admit to.

To be real, I don't even have a problem with any of these reasons. But if that's what makes people wanna join your organization, say that. Don't preach lofty goals about uplifting the community when half of your members are only in the frat so they can meet girls and stroll at parties. I have no problem with fraternities being strictly social communities, which is essentially what the white Greeks are. But if that's what Black Greeks wanna be as well, don't tell me that you're here to serve as a beacon of hope for the Black community. That's an insult to my intelligence, and I'm not that gullible.

This is not meant to be a post that simply bashes Greeks or their respective organizations. Many of my closest friends are Greek, including my best friend. I respect their decision to join Greek organizations. But I didn't need a fraternity to perform community service in college, and I don't need one to perform good deeds now. As a middle school teacher, I feel that I promote scholarship and serve as more of a role model than most of the Greeks I know, and I didn't need to pledge to do it. So, at the end of the day, what's the real purpose? I have a hard time seeing a good one.

Chivalry Is Sooo 20th Century...

2010-11-13T17:07:00.000-08:00

We all know the facts. We've all heard the statistics, read the books, and watched the specials. Most educated black women are single. Sure, 50% of marriages in America end in divorce, but these chicks can't even get married to know what divorce feels like. There have been too many reports, too many books from comedians, and too many blog posts addressing the issue. Hell, I even talked about it on this blog a while ago. So I won't even bother to belabor the point any further. It is what it is.

Anyway, I found myself on this blog the other day, and I was really enjoying the posts and the blogger's point of view. After some perusal, I stumbled upon this post. The video in particular got me thinking, specifically the part when they pointed out that 42% of black women have never been married. They went on to say that because black women outnumber black men by so much, even if every black man in the country married a black woman, 1 out of every 12 black woman would still wind up single. Wow. Then when you eliminate the ones without an education and the ones in jail, the pickings for black women becomes quite slim.

Naturally, I looked at this information from the perspective of a black man. I realize how much of an advantage this puts me in. As a matter of fact, I've seen it first-hand. As a new resident to the DC area, I've quickly come to realize just how easy it is to meet women. Being a decent-looking, young black guy with an education pretty much gives you a bevy of options in the black dating world. Automatically, men such as myself are a commodity. And we have become very aware of this fact.

Which brings me to the main point of this post... I recently saw a friend post this on her blog asking why men aren't as chivalrous and romantic as they used to be. Being the higher-level thinker that I am, I decided to access my prior knowledge and came to a simple conclusion: Because black women are at such a disadvantage nowadays and because they've made such a point to declare their frustrations publicly, we men are quite aware that we have the upper hand in every romantic situation. Therefore, chivalry and other things that men used to do to woo women have become less necessary.

When we get into relationships with women nowadays, we know that they want things to work more than we do. They're more invested, because the odds are against them. We're the commodity. So, for that reason, we have to do a lot less to get their attention. They need us a lot more than we need them. You know that phrase, "There's plenty of fish in the sea"? Well, it still applies for us, but not so much for them anymore.

I know what some of the women reading this are thinking: So, what happened to doing things for women simply because you want to? Can't a man just show me love and affection because he cares about me? Why does a man need a reason to be romantic?? Those are all nice questions, and truth be told, a man still CAN be chivalrous. But the fact of the matter is that a man no longer HAS to be chivalrous. Back in the day, men did everything they could to try to impress women because we knew that they had what we wanted (take a guess) and that in order to get it we had to go hard to prove ourselves. After all, she could have any man that she wanted.

But guess what happened? Women can no longer have any man that they want. Most women nowadays can't even meet a decent guy. 1 for every 12, remember? So when an educated man meets a young lady, he knows that his credentials alone will allow him to get by with minimal effort. It sounds unfair, and that's because it is. But these are the breaks.

So, for black women wondering why chivalry is dead, simply take a look at the statistics. We don't have a biological clock. You need us more than we need you. Sorry. But not really.

Why Advice is Stupid

2010-11-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

"I always call n*ggas fools for wanting to learn the hard way/ When I'm really the fool for tryna teach 'em" - Joe Budden

Very often, I find myself in situations where I see someone I know about to make a bad decision. Very often, of course, because people are idiots. Now, when faced with these situations, I have one of two options. I can either a.) try to intercede and stop them from making an ill-advised move, or b.) sit back and watch them fail miserably. Choice b is obviously more enjoyable, since other people's failures make me feel better about my own life. Unfortunately, there are a few people in this miserable world that I actually care about (who knew?), in which case I feel compelled/obligated to offer some advice.

To be completely transparent, I must admit that most of my advice comes from a very selfish place. As a man that thinks he always knows best, I enjoy being able to tell people why I'm right and they're wrong. I take pleasure in proving to other people that I'm smarter than them. And in several occasions, they will even admit to such by letting me know just how wise and superior I am. Responses such as, "That's a great point!" or "I never looked at it that way!" or "You are an amazing genius! I'm lucky to know you!" typically let me know that my job is complete. I have imparted my knowledge on your wretched soul, and now you are forever indebted to my beautiful mind.

BUT...

There is an inherent problem in all of this. That problem, of course, is that despite these frequent admissions of my accuracy, few people actually use the advice that they have been given. "So," you're saying, "these people admit that you're right, but then ignore your advice?" Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying.

This used to frustrate me. It would upset me, not only because I felt like I wasted my breath, but also because I had trouble understanding why anyone would purposefully do what they knew was a poor decision. It's kinda like deciding to buy a new car, and then getting an American one. Or deciding to settle down, and then marrying a white woman. None of these things make sense.

But then someone pointed something out to me one day. She said to me, "You're a hypocrite. Half of the advice that you give to other people you wouldn't even take yourself." Was she an ex-girlfriend? Of course she was. But she was also right. And the more I thought about it, I realized that I myself have made plenty of ill-advised decisions knowing fully well that they were ill-advised when I made them. Why, you ask? Because I felt like it. Even though I knew it wasn't the best idea, I knew it was what I wanted to do. I threw rationale out the window and just did wtf I wanted to.

At the end of the day, that's all anybody wants to do. Whatever the f they want. People don't make decisions based on what they think is best. They make decisions based on what makes them feel good. It's the reason people drive drunk or have sex without condoms. Because they felt like it. I'm pretty sure that everyone under 25 who is single with kids had someone tell them they should have protected sex at one point or another. But now they spend their Friday nights changing diapers because they did wtf they felt like doing. (Who am I kidding? They go clubbing and leave the baby with grandma.)

So what point am I ultimately trying to make? Giving advice is a waste of time. No one cares what you have to say, and they certainly don't care whether you're right or not. Sometimes people ask for advice, but rarely are they really looking for you to tell them what to do. More times than not, they've already made up their mind, but they still want you to tell them whatever they want to hear to give themselves some false sense of validation. It's stupid. So, the next time someone asks you for some advice, tell them to forget rationality. Tell them to just do whatever makes them feel good. More than likely, that's what they were going to do, anyway.

The Twitter Rules

2010-07-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

Last time I discussed Twitter on this site, I was making fun of it. I said that I didn't see the point of it, and I said that I would never start an account.

I lied.

I got an Twitter account sometime last fall, and I've noticed a number of benefits that weren't evident before I joined the site. For one, I like that I can follow publications and celebrities to get up-to-the-minute information on new stories, or new material from my favorite artists. I also like being able to share links instantly with friends without having to wait for them to check their Facebook profile. So yeah, it's not all bad.

Having said that, though, I must admit that I can only check up on Twitter periodically. If I go on too often, I usually just get frustrated. Why, you ask? Well, because most of the tweets I see on my timeline are bullsh*t. Now, this isn't a knock at any specific people that I follow (OK, maybe it is), but I just feel like a lot of people put inconsequential stuff on Twitter without realizing that no one cares at all. Twitter is supposed to be used as a social networking tool, but I find that far too many people use it just to write down all of their thoughts, as if Twitter were some sort of a public journal. Or the Internet's equivalent of talking to yourself out loud. I don't mean to be rude, but trust that neither I nor any of your other followers care that you're craving IHOP or that you lost your favorite pair of socks. That's not interesting. So, to help some of your hapless saps who tweet without any discretion, I have come up with three very simple rules to make your tweets more follow-friendly. I find that if your tweets fall outside of these three basic tenets, you're probably just typing nonsense. I call them "The Twitter Rules."

1. Post interesting links
Did you hear about the black couple that gave birth to a white baby? Or how about that video of the guy crying (and seemingly having an orgasm) when he sees a "double rainbow"? What about that new Usher song featuring Jay-Z? Those would all be interesting links that you could share with your followers on Twitter. Not to mention, posting links is an interesting way of spreading news. On the other hand, remember when MJ died, and Twitter was filled with people typing tweets like "omg, Michael Jackson died! bbm sad face"? Were any of those tweets necessary? Did anyone need to be told that he had died, or care that you had a "sad face"? When news is that widespread, there's no need to tweet about it. We already know. The key word here is "interesting". Post links that will create interest.

2. Create/Spur an interesting discussion
There's that "interesting" word again. One of the things I enjoy about Twitter is when ideas or opinions are shared, and a number of followers create a back-and-forth conversation regarding their views on the issue. I enjoy discussion and debate, and I always think it's interesting to see how different people view the same situation. Starting a conversation about an issue is always a good way to keep your followers interested in what you have to say.

3. Be funny
In the words of the illustrious Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "Make em laugh." Funny tweets are always welcomed, regardless of context. There's really nothing else that needs to be said about that.

The Bottom Line: Any original tweet should have the capability to elicit some sort of response from a follower. "Damn, I just missed the bus" cannot be responded to. Nor can "that was the best one so far lol #subliminaltweet". Those are bad tweets. It leaves no room for feedback, and at that point you're really just talking to yourself.

I realize that I'm a part of a generation in which everyone think they're the sh*t and that whatever they say is important. The truth is, it's not, and most people couldn't care less. In my opinion, over-tweeting is one of the biggest problems here. If you tweet too often, there's no way all of those tweets will be interesting. It's impossible. Not to mention, you're probably tweeting so often because you feel neglected in real life. That's a shame, but really, no one cares. Slow it down.

I'm tired of having to unfollow people because of Twitter rambling and an excess of uninteresting tweets. Please people, for the love of God, just follow the rules. Your followers will be happy for it.

Why LeBron James Is A Bitch

2010-07-09T14:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I was online checking out new music and I saw something that caught my attention. Gucci Mane had a new song featuring Talib Kweli. If you know anything about hip-hop, you understand why this is a big deal. Kweli has made a career for himself by being a top-notch lyricist with socially conscious rhymes, while Gucci's rhymes are mostly about jewelry and not much else. As someone who's been following Kweli's career closely, I was truly disappointed. And I wasn't the only one; when he mentioned on Twitter last month that he might do a song with Gucci, a number of his fans got so upset that they unfollowed him. He might think that his fans are being close-minded, but I understand why they were bothered. For someone with Kweli's talent and skill, doing songs with a hack of an artist for the sake of some publicity and a nice paycheck is a slap in the face to the people who have been riding with him since day one. It's a middle finger to the people who know he's better than Gucci, and it almost tells them that he would rather dumb it down with rappers worse than him than display his skills on his own.

I'll give one more (weaker but still slightly appropriate) parallel. In the movie "The Godfather Part II", Mafia leader Michael Corleone is almost killed in an assassination attempt at his home. Although the attempt is unsuccessful, Michael draws the conclusion that the attempt had to have been carried out with the help of someone within his inner circle. Come to find out, the betrayer was his brother Fredo, who accidentally let some secret information slip to some people who wanted Michael dead. When Michael approaches Fredo, he grabs his face, kisses him, and tells him, "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart." After that, Fredo is as good as dead to Michael, who acts as if Fredo never existed. Towards the end of the movie, Michael eventually welcomes Fredo back into his life. But then in the end, he has him killed.

What LeBron James did last night reminded me a little of both Talib Kweli and Fredo Corleone. Choosing Miami was like doing a song with Gucci Mane. It was a complete disregard for his skill, and he deferred to a lesser talent instead of creating a better product on his own. Leaving Cleveland was like Fredo betraying Michael. Although the intent may not have been malicious, he could have single-handedly destroyed an entire organization.

Which brings me to the title of this post: Why I think LeBron James is a bitch. And I know what you're thinking. You think I'm just salty because I'm a Knicks fan and he didn't sign with New York. But you're wrong. I am obviously disappointed that we didn't get him. We basically forfeited the past two seasons to clear enough cap space to lure him to Manhattan. But we took a gamble, and it didn't work out. That's life. My gripe with LeBron is about much more than the fate of the Knicks. My problem with him is that he seems to be throwing his entire legacy away for no apparent reason. Had he come to the Knicks, he would have gotten the chance to play with Amar'e Stoudemire, live in NYC, turn a struggling franchise around, and go down in history as a legend.

But, I know New York wasn't the most appealing option. What I really thought he should have done was go to the Bulls. With Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah and Carlos Boozer, Chicago had the best possible roster that could have given him a maximum contract. Not only would he be getting paid, he'd also automatically make the Bulls a championship contender.

The only other choice he could have made was to stay in Cleveland. I don't necessarily blame him for leaving, because I don't think the Cavs could have gotten much better than they were last year. After they lost in the playoffs, I thought there was a pretty good chance that he'd leave, because they didn't have the players to win a championship, nor did they have the money to get a star complementary player. However, I think it's a huge contradiction to spend you're whole career telling everyone how much you love Cleveland and how great it is to play in your home state, and then hold a one-hour special on ESPN just to announce you're leaving them with nothing. It was unapologetic, mean, and seemed like a big "F*ck You" to the entire state of Ohio. He didn't even seem remorseful.

And for everyone saying that Dan Gilbert's letter was childish, immature, or unprofessional, I would urge you to look at things from a Cleveland perspective. His letter put into words what every single Cleveland fan was thinking last night. If anything, I would applaud Mr. Gilbert for having the guts to be politically incorrect. I saw his letter as a way of saying, "You know what? We lost LeBron, but screw him. I feel for you, Cleveland, I share your sentiment, and I will make it my personal mission to have him regret leaving here for the sake of us both." That's gutsy, and gloating on ESPN about how happy you are to leave the fans that supported you for 7 years is not. It was a bitch move.

(Speaking of ESPN, I found it wildly ironic that throughout this free agency period, their so-called analysts have managed to get every story incorrect for two weeks. Then, with a nationwide audience sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to see what LeBron will announce on their network, they break the story before he even says anything, effectively ruining the suspense of their own program. Needless to say, ESPN lost a lot of points this summer.)

My biggest reason for calling LeBron a bitch isn't about the Cavs, though. This guy is a once-in-a-lifetime talent. Yet, his decision to play in Miami was basically like him saying, "You know what? I don't really wanna chase a ring by building a team around me. I'd rather defer to Wade, play on his team as a second banana, and hope to win a ring without all the pressure. I'm good, but not good enough to do it as the main guy." What the hell was he thinking? He could have chosen any team, and it would have been better than chosing the Heat. When Bosh did it, no one was really upset, because I don't think anyone thinks he can win a ring as the main guy, anyway. But LeBron definitely has the talent to do so, so why would he ultimately decide not to try to lead a team to a championship? Even if the Heat win the Finals in 2011, LeBron will be the Scottie Pippen to D-Wade's Jordan. And really, that's a waste of talent.

Speaking of Jordan, my friend Nich raised an excellent point last night. He compared LeBron's career up to this point to Jordan in 1990. Jordan had excelled on every individual level, but had never been able to get past the Celtics or the Pistons in the playoffs. But he didn't say, "If you can't beat em, join em" and try to get traded to the Pistons. No, he stayed with the Bulls until they had the talent to beat the Pistons, and when they won the championship in 1991, no one could say Jordan wasn't responsible for the Bulls' win. He led them to the Finals, and he earned it. Because of the talent on the Heat roster, LeBron will never enjoy that Jordan-esque level of success. Even if they win, it will be because they were supposed to, and LeBron will never be seen as an all-time great.

I think what's so disappointing is that he's basically choosing to throw away his own legacy. Charles Barkley was talking about LeBron's decision last night, and he said that when he was 25 years old, he never would have joined another star just to win a ring. He made the point that he didn't try to ride other players' coattails until he was past his prime, because he knew he couldn't lead a team anymore. Chuck said, "LeBron's never gonna be the guy. Wade has already won a championship there, and it's his team... LeBron's legacy is going to take a hit." Now, you can make the joke that Barkley never won, anyway. But had he won a ring with the Bulls in 1993 instead of losing to the Bulls as the main guy in Phoenix, I guarantee you that despite him winning a championship he would not be regarded as highly as he is today. Barkley went on to raise the point that prior to 2009, Kobe had always been criticized for not winning a ring without Shaq. If Kobe, the best player in the league, could be knocked for never leading a team to a championship, why would LeBron consciously choose to assume the role as "the other guy"? Assuming he stays in Miami for the rest of his career, we will never see LeBron lead a team to a title. And that makes him a bitch for choosing the easy way out.

Last night, LeBron solidified his place as the most hated man in sports. Forget A-Rod. Forget Kobe. Forget Favre. Not only did he screw the Knicks and potentially kill the Cavaliers' franchise, he also ruined the balance of power in the NBA. Let's assume the Heat end up being as good as everyone assumes they will be, and they just reel off championship after championship. Doesn't that make the entire NBA suffer as a result? Who wants to watch a league in which one team is at a CLEAR advantage over everyone else?? If this happens, it can be assumed that LeBron's decision actually ruined the entire NBA.

So for these reasons, LeBron James is a bitch. I dislike him for screwing the Knicks, but I hate him for screwing the league. Not only did he show that doesn't care about Cleveland, he also showed that he doesn't care about his own legacy. A super-talented ball player signing up to be someone else's sidekick and taking less money in the process. How pathetic. LeBron James, you are a bitch. I hate your guts, and so does the rest of America. May you suffer an injury-riddled career with gut-wrenching losses and no championships. Screw South Beach, screw the Heat, and most importantly, screw you.

NBA 2010 Wrap-Up

2010-06-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well, the season is over. Good playoffs, great final game, congrats to the Lakers. Now that that's out the way, I'd like to make a few notes on some observations I made throughout the playoffs that leave some questions for next season (considering there isn't a lockout).

LeBron James - I've already talked about his free agency, but I think his losing in the second round raises a different question: is he really the key to a title? Has LeBron proven that he will be able to lead a team to a championship? He's super talented, there's no denying that. But I'm not yet convinced that he's going to guarantee his next team a trip to the Finals. People always compare him to Magic Johnson, but as of right now, he's a lot more like Dominique Wilkins.

Boston Celtics - What happens now? Kevin Garnett isn't great anymore, Ray Allen is a free agent, Sheed might retire, and Doc Rivers might not come back as coach. On top of all that, Tom Thibodeau, the assistant coach that runs their daunted defense, is leaving to be the Bulls' head coach. This whole team could potentially blow up and be a bottom-feeder. What a shame. (Who am I kidding? That would be great. I hate this team.)

Dirk Nowitzki - He has a player option on next season and has stated that he'll be testing free agency. There have even been rumors of him maybe signing with the Suns to reunite with his BFF Steve Nash... I do think he should leave Dallas (they're not getting any closer than 2006* again, let's face it), but I don't think Phoenix is the best option. An all-offense player on an all-offense team? And how can he and Frye coexist? I think he fits in better with Chicago, but I guess we'll see if he even leaves at all.

Thunder, Bucks, Bulls, Blazers - All young teams, all with PLENTY of promise moving forward. The Thunder have Durant, who will probably be an MVP in the next 3 years (mark my words). The Bucks were led by Bogut and Jennings, and if Mike Redd can make a healthy return, they could be a problem. The Bulls have Noah, Rose, and cap space, so I think they're an East favorite for next year already. And the Blazers have what I think is the deepest team in the NBA. Once their young guys get some playoff experience, they should make some noise. Oh yeah, and Brandon Roy is a beast. Someone give that man a nickname.

Orlando Magic/Denver Nuggets - Neither of these teams are set to win a title, but I don't know what either of them can do to change that. The Magic owe Rashard Lewis and Vince Carter a combined $37.8 million next year, and they were both playoff busts. They should have known better than to put their playoff hopes in the hands of a renowned choke artist (looking at you, Vince). The Nuggets imploded after they lost their coach, and I just think they have too many head cases to ever mesh the way a championship team needs to. It's really a shame for Carmelo, who's probably the most effortless scorer in the league. He's improved every year, and he deserves better.

Utah Jazz - Good every year, but never good enough. I don't know why, really... they play team ball, work with discipline, and defend well. But I guess down the stretch offensively, they've got Deron Williams and that's it. It's really hard to win titles when your best offensive player is your point guard. (Note: a PG hasn't led a team to a title since Isiah Thomas. That was 20 years ago.)

Phoenix Suns - Probably the biggest surprise of the playoffs (other than Boston). They swept the Spurs after being eliminated by San Antonio in 4 of the last 8 playoffs. Steve Nash is the truth, and that zone they used against LA could become a staple for them, especially since no other team in the NBA really uses a zone defense. Also, how is Grant Hill still good?!?

And now, we must wait four long months until next season. Enjoy the World Cup... New York Knicks 2011!

*I had to put an asterisk next to the 2006 Finals, because the Mavs technically should have won. Unfortunately, the referees were employees of the Miami Heat... Wait, they weren't? Could've fooled me.

The Summer of LeBron

2010-05-19T15:27:00.001-07:00

You see that picture? Pretty good, right? He looks nice in that orange and blue, don't you agree?

I think so. Of course, that clearly has everything to do with my being a Knicks fan, and us not having a star in God knows how long (although David Lee made the All-Star Game this year, shout-out to him). Considering his free agent status is t-minus 42 days, nothing would be better for us than seeing LBJ play in MSG.

Of course, we all knew this was coming. LeBron's impending free agency has been anticipated for the past 2 or 3 seasons, and the Knicks (along with a few other teams) have been preparing for it. Hiring Donnie Walsh as our General Manager was a great first step, as he's been able to give us the salary cap space that the last two losers spent so much time trying to throw away. But even after we had the money, I still had one concern: the Cleveland Cavaliers. I knew that if LeBron won a championship with the Cavs, the likelihood of him leaving would probably diminish. After all, what superstar leaves a team after they win a title?

As we all know now, that didn't happen. Despite winning 61 games this season, the Cavs blew it in the second round, losing to the Celtics in a Game 6 in which they didn't even seem to be trying at times. Personally, I was ecstatic. I was rooting for them to lose for my own selfish reasons, and it was probably the first time I rooted for Boston since 2002. When it was all over, Knicks fans everywhere rejoiced. Our chance had come! For a team that hasn't been to the Finals in 11 years, the Cavs' loss was our biggest win in years.

But what now? Free agency doesn't start until July 1, yet it still hasn't stopped everyone from speculating where LeBron might go and what his reason for going will be. I've heard he was staying in Cleveland because he's a loyal native of Ohio. I've heard he was leaving the Cavaliers because Delonte West slept with his mother. I've heard he would only sign with a team if they hired John Calipari as a coach. I've heard he was going to Chicago to play with Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. I've heard it all. And then, of course, there's Worldwide Wes.

Truth is, none of us really know where LeBron will end up. He's getting the max contract either way, so you know there are only a number of teams that are capable of getting him (including the Cavs, who can actually offer him the most money due to the Larry Bird Exception). Do I hope he goes to New York? Of course. Will I cry if he doesn't? Of course. But I won't pretend that I know he'll definitely be a Knick, because I don't. Realistically? I think it's between us, the Cavs, and the Bulls. Because Miami is Wade's town, and who really wants to play for the Clippers, Nets, Wizards or Kings?

In the end, though, all I can do is hope. Because no one really knows. So if you hear any more news about where LeBron will go this summer, just ignore it. Chances are, they're just making up some news to keep themselves entertained since this year's playoffs have been so boring. Oh well.

Successful Black Women... You Mad??

2010-04-22T16:37:00.001-07:00

Last night, I was lurking around on Twitter when I started to notice a few people commenting on ABC Nightline's latest special entitled, "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?" Provocative title, but it's nothing we as black people haven't already discussed ad nauseum. I was watching the NBA Playoffs, so I didn't bother to switch channels, but after I saw some outstanding responses from a number of people on twitter, I decided to see what all the fuss was about. So I logged onto Nightline's website to check the special out for myself.

Personally, I found the special to be well done, and felt that there were a lot of things discussed that weren't a part of the usual discussion on this topic. For one, I especially liked the point Hill Harper made about black men and women failing to be each other's friends. He argued that much of the disconnect between genders come from a lack of communication. When women get man advice from other women and men get woman advice from other men, everybody ends up being misinformed.

I also enjoyed Steve Harvey's point that many successful black women refuse to date men that aren't on the same social level that they're on, but they fail to realize that they are often the key piece that a man needs to get to that level. Harper repeatedly talked about dating a man for his potential as opposed to dating a man for what he currently has, and I'm not sure if the women on the panel ever really grasped what he meant at the end of the night.

Above all, I believe that the best point raised came at the end of the night from a woman in the audience. She basically made the point that it's impossible to be a great wife, a great mother and a successful businesswoman all at the same time, and the reason these women are struggling is because they are fervently trying to do something outside the realm of reality. I enjoyed her quote so much, in fact, that I made it my Facebook status (which led to some interesting feedback). The woman also went on to say that as a single professional with a daughter, she knows it's impossible for her to pursue a serious relationship until her daughter goes to college, because she doesn't have the time to give a man what he truly needs. In my opinion, it was the most poignant moment of the night.

The obvious question is, of course, why is this so difficult for women to understand? Why can't they grasp that these are three extremely difficult tasks that are almost impossible to perform at a high level simultaneously? And it's not like I'm saying that the task is only difficult for females, since most uber-successful businessmen are forced to make significant sacrifices to their personal lives as well. For those that actually are married with children, there is no guarantee that they aren't rotten husbands and fathers.

Perhaps the answer to that question can best be answered by another comment that was made by a different female in the audience. She said that when people say "why can't a successful black woman find a man?" the sentence is accusatory and it makes black women defensive because people are telling them they can't do something. The fact of the matter is, marriage and children are often more important to women than they are to men. So yes, the question is more often posed with a female slant. But to think that you can be a super parent, a super spouse, and a super CEO all at the same time is a little lofty. As my friend Johnson pointed out, "What's up nowadays with people's quest for perfection? All this is saying is, you cannot be perfect." There's nothing offensive about that.

Playboy, Passes, & A Racist Penis

2010-02-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm sure this topic has been beaten to death in the blogosphere over the past week, and I may be late in discussing it (especially in this instant message-twitter-google buzz world we live in), but eff it. I feel like talking about it anyway, not only because I like to look at my own words (which I do), but also because I don't think it's been discussed from my particular point-of-view.

After John Mayer's Playboy interview leaked (click here to read it), there were two things that I saw everyone up in arms about: his racist penis and his ownership of a "nigger pass." Now, as a black man who's not only super-proud of his heritage but also someone who has made a number of public statements about my love for black women, I guess I was supposed to be annoyed and bothered by Mayer's statements. I should call him a racist, ban his alleged "hood pass" and tell everyone to boycott his music. But guess what? I'm not doing any of that stuff. And to be honest, I wasn't even offended by what he said.

If you're surprised/shocked/appalled by my lack of concern, I would implore you to go and read the interview for yourself. I say that, of course, because I'm willing to bet that most of the people who were upset by Mayer's statements didn't even read the context from which the statements came. As a product of a journalism education, I'm well aware that a quote without the proper context can sound completely different than how it was meant to sound. But when you read the article, you'll see that neither of his "offensive" quotes were actually meant in a racist way. I'm convinced that the same people who were quick to get offended either didn't read the article or misunderstood the context from which the quotes came. Let's explore...

First and foremost, people were mad that he said that his "d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist." Now, that's a ridiculous quote already, so I don't know how you could even get mad at something so nonsensical. But beyond that, he didn't even call himself a supremacist. He said his penis was racist. Which means, of course, that he doesn't bang black chicks. How is that offensive? Are we going to call every white man who doesn't sleep with black women a racist?? I didn't think so. Let's move on.

The second quote that people made a big deal about came after he was asked how he felt about having a "hood pass". His quote read:

"Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?' And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?"

Now, I know that we as black people are trained to get mad every time a white person says "nigger" without taking into consideration the context from which it came. But we were also taught to always show up late and to use Vaseline instead of lotion. Point being, that doesn't make it right. The point Mayer was making is that he doesn't feel he has a hood pass, because to have a pass amongst black people would mean that he also had a pass to say the word "nigger", which he recognized that he does not. Of course, no one bothered to think about any of that before they got upset.

Furthermore, who ever told John Mayer he had a hood pass in the first place? Most of the hood, ghetto people that I know probably never even heard of John Mayer or his music. Is this just because he made a few songs with hip-hop artists? Because if that's the case, then do Adam Levine, Madonna and Lily Allen have hood passes, too? The idea in itself is no less ridiculous than Mayer's quote.

Now, even with this explanation, I'm sure people are still going to say, "But wait! Even if it wasn't racist, it was irreverent! It was uncalled for! He should have known better than to use those phrases!" In response to that, I would actually agree. But the entire interview was laced with inappropriate, irreverent comments. Mayer's reputation as pop music's biggest douchebag is predicated around the fact that he just says things without any form of censorship. In the same interview, he said:

"I want to show her I’m not like every other guy. Because I hate other men. When I’m f*cking you, I’m trying to f*ck every man who’s ever f*cked you, but in his ass, so you’ll say 'No one’s ever done that to me in bed.'"

Case in point, this is not a normal person who says normal things.

The point is, John Mayer says stupid stuff. But that doesn't make him racist. When I read the interview, I was actually laughing, because everything he said was so outrageous. I think we black people like to play the race card too much, and we love accusing someone of being a racist. But this time, as is often the case, there is no basis for a racist accusation. Please, for the love of God, stop making snap judgments before reading into the details, and stop accusing everyone of being a bigot. It's getting old.

What Women Want

2010-01-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

"Girrrrrl, lemme tell you... It's like everything was going so well, you know? But then, it seems like the more I get to know him, he just... ugh, I don't know. It's like he just doesn't get it! Why doesn't he get it?? Why doesn't he UNDERSTAND me??"

Famous conversation piece amongst women, no? In fact, how many women reading this haven't been in this very discussion? It seems that girls often talk about how little we men know about their desires and needs in the context of a relationship. And quite frankly, that's because we don't. But although I will be the first to admit that women are damn near impossible to figure out (much less to please), I do think there are a number of very basic needs that every woman looks for in men that they are attracted to. Simple desires that even we should be able to figure out. So, for the benefit of any man who may read this blog, I have listed what I believe to be the five most basic things that the average woman will require from a significant other...

1. Good conversation
Let's be honest here: Women love to talk. This is no surprise. And depending on the individual, she may want nothing more than for your ass to just listen to her and pretend to be interested. But of course, if the woman is any more than an incessant chatterbox, she's gonna want you to do some talking as well. Anyone can text, but can you put in work on the phone? Too many of us guys just don't know how to keep good, intriguing conversation, and I'm willing to bet that that's a major turn-off for a lot of women. Try to show her that you have some sort of intellect, because keeping a woman intrigued is way more important than getting her to think you're cute.

2. Keep her smiling/laughing
Although I've never heard a man say this, women almost ALWAYS say they want a man that can make them laugh. This actually plays into the first point; if you can't keep good conversation and you're boring, why would any woman want to talk to you? Ever?? I think the underlying issue, more than a woman wanting a funnyman, is that girls want to see that you have some sort of a personality. Often times, one's personality can be determined by their sense of humor. Now, don't get it twisted... this doesn't mean you should actively be making a litany of jokes in an attempt to cajole a chuckle out of her. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself, and more times than not, she'll end up smiling.

3. Good sex
Does it sound shallow? Absolutely. But is it true? Most definitely. And if you don't think a girl will stop talking to a guy because the sex sucks, I would suggest that you ask some of your female friends. I've heard some stories; you'd be surprised. Now, I'm a firm believer that no one can be inherently bad in bed. But I do understand that different people want and expect different things sexually, and it's our job as men to adjust to what our partner wants. However, ladies, a large bit of the responsibility falls on your shoulders, as well. If you don't tell us the sex is bad or suggest ways to improve, we'll be none the wiser, and the sex will continue to suck. So don't talk behind his back about him being lame. If you like him enough and you want things to get better, do like Drake and say something.

4. Ambition
Now, I'm only 23, and most of the people I know that read this blog are also under 30. At our age (and especially in this economy), no woman is really expecting you to be paying your own mortgage with a Mercedes Benz and a 4-car garage. Hell, a full-time job isn't even a guarantee nowadays. But one thing that the recession has not changed is women's desire to find a man with some sort of ambition and drive. Regardless of where you are in life, women want to know that you have issues that you're passionate about and that you are making progressive strides to better yourself. If you are going nowhere in life and seem content remaining blase, that most certainly will not help your cause.

5. Make her feel special
I saved this one for last because it's really the most important one. Above all else, all a woman really wants is for a man to make her feel special. That's it. Everything else on this list comes secondary. So put her on a pedestal. Treat her like a queen. Do a bunch of mushy sh*t. Making a woman feel special will give you so many brownie points that you can afford to mess up on a few thing here and there and still keep her, because she knows how good you make her feel (no Monster's Ball). Keep this in mind, and you really can't lose.

Of course, in order to insure the accuracy of this list, I had to think on the other side of things. If these are the things girls want, what are the main things women complain about? In my opinion, I would say women most complain that men: a) aren't faithful, b) are too boring, or c) are too selfish/self-centered. If this is true, I think my list stands up pretty well. Being unfaithful goes against #5, because cheating is the biggest way NOT to show a woman she's special to you, since you're basically telling her you need something better. Being too boring goes against #1 and #2, and she'll quickly become disinterested in you. (Being too boring might even go against #3 too, but that's a whole 'nother blog post.) And being self-centered goes against #1 and #5, because as much as women like to talk, no girl likes to hear a guy talk incessantly about himself. And of course, a selfish man won't make a girl feel special.

In short, just follow these rules, and you can't go wrong. Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Biggest Songs of 2009

2009-12-15T13:34:00.000-08:00

Ok, so since the year is coming to a close, this is usually the time of year when radio stations, websites and music television stations countdown the biggest songs and moments of the year... wait, scratch that... there aren't any more music TV stations. But you get the point. The one wrinkle this year is that since it's the last year of the decade, people have even begun to have countdowns for the past 10 years. The most impressive I've seen thus far is this litany of lists that Complex.com has posted of their best "everything" of the 2000s.

However, I'm not going to do that here. Not because I'm better than that, but simply because there's no way I could even attempt to remember all of the best songs for the past 10 years. I can't even remember what I ate two days ago. But what I will do is try to name what I think were the biggest songs of this year.

Now let me first preface this by saying I'm sticking to hip-hop and R&B. The only real reason for this is because I don't listen to pop, and other than this song, I have no idea what was popular. Sorry Taylor Swift, you won't be featured here. Also, I'm basing what was a "big" song on some pretty basic criteria. What were the songs that were ALWAYS on every time I turned on my car radio? What were the songs that the DJ had to play at the club? What were the songs everyone was downloading?? And lastly, keep in mind that this list is being compiled strictly off the top of my head, so no actual research was done on my part to include songs I may have forgotten. Now, given the rules, here's my list, starting with number 5...

5. Keri Hilson feat. Lil' Wayne - Turnin' Me On
I've since gotten over her, but I remember that when I first saw Keri Hilson, I thought she was so fine. But you know when you see a girl enough times, and she's just not as hot as you thought she was the first time you saw her? That's kind of what happened here. Plus, I realized she can't sing, so I was really over it after that. Nonetheless, I remember this song being on the radio constantly. I couldn't escape it. The thing that stood out most to me was how she took Wayne's "Young Moolah Baby" and flipped it to "Miss Keri Baby", which was kinda cute until she started saying it on songs that Wayne wasn't even on. Dub tee eff? Who does that? Regardless, this was a huge record.

4. GS Boyz - Stanky Legg
OK, I lied. I actually did have to do some research for this one, because I had no idea what the name of this group was. If everyone knows your song but no one knows you, I'm sorry, but you're probably a one-hit wonder. They shoulda took the Soulja Boy approach and just put their name in the song and dance title. This was a very big club record, and it reminds me of when I went to Miami for Spring Break '09 and everybody was doing this dance on South Beach. Good times...

3. Gucci Mane feat. Plies - Wasted
As a recovering alcoholic (AKA recent college graduate), I was all for the irresponsible drunkenness that this song promoted. This really is a great drinking/partying song, regardless of the fact that it comes from Gucci Mane, who may be the worst rapper of the past decade. I didn't even realize this until I read the lyrics, but in the third verse, he ends 6 of his 12 bars with the word "wasted". Now that's lyricism. But alas, I guess you don't have to be that lyrical when all your diamonds are "Carcasian"...

2. Drake - Best I Ever Had
We all know the story: Former child actor from Canada puts out critically-acclaimed mixtape, gains radio play without an official album release, signs with Lil' Wayne's Young Money label, gets Grammy nomination. Really an amazing story. Truth be told, I wasn't crazy about So Far Gone, but this was one of my favorite songs on the mixtape. Of course, that was until it became too popular for its own good, and all songs start to suck when you hear them too much. This would have been my pick for biggest song this year, but it wasn't bigger than...

1. F.L.Y. - Swag Surfin'
Another one-hit wonder group whose name I had to look up... but isn't that half of what music is nowadays? I first heard "Swag Surfin'" in Atlanta in like early January. At this point, it was still just a local hit, but everybody in the clubs was going crazy when it played. I thought it was an extra catchy tune, and I'll admit that I even downloaded it. I didn't think much of it, but then I started hearing it on the radio. In about two or three months, it was a nationwide hit, and the song even had a music video. And you knew the song really got big when other rappers started recording freestyles over the beat. Unequivocally, I don't think anyone would argue that this was the biggest song of 2009.

Honorable Mention:
Jeremih - Birthday Sex
Drake feat. Trey Songz - Successful
Fabolous feat. The-Dream - Throw It In The Bag
Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind
Drake, Kanye West, Lil' Wayne & Eminem - Forever
Maxwell - Pretty Wings
Beyonce feat. Kanye West - Ego (Remix)

So, what do you think?? Disagree with the order? Did I leave anything out that should have been mentioned? Leave a comment...

What's New York's Hip-Hop Theme Song?

2009-12-03T19:59:00.000-08:00

(Again, all words that appear in red are links. It's amazing after a year of reading this blog how many people still haven't figured that out.)

So, I read this ridiculous piece of news the other day that said there was an ongoing discussion going on in my home state in regards to what the unofficial theme song for New York should be. As everyone knows, Frank Sinatra's ode to New York is not only a beautiful, classic song, but they even play it at Yankee Stadium after every home win. What could be better than that?

However, some people feel that the new Jay-Z/Alicia Keys tune should usurp Sinatra's as the new theme for the Empire State (you damn right I looked up "usurp" to make sure I was using it correctly). Not only that, but MSG's website is holding a poll to see which song people think should be the unofficial theme. Granted, I understand that Hov wears Yankee caps and sits at Knicks games and performed at the World Series and even at the Yankee Parade, yada yada yada. I get it. But, really? Jay-Z over Frank Sinatra?? Come on, people. This shouldn't even be a serious debate.

In my opinion (and hopefully yours), "New York, New York" is and always will be the main theme song for New York. I don't see how anyone over the age of 18 could think otherwise. But this post isn't really about that. Sinatra's song is a different genre and should be kept in a class of it's own... but is the Jay song even the best hip-hop record about New York?? In a backhanded celebration for Jay-Z's 40th birthday today, I'm going to list a number of hip-hop songs that I feel represent New York better than "Empire State of Mind."

There are A LOT of songs from New York rappers about New York. But as a self-proclaimed Nas stan, obviously the first song that comes to mind is "New York State of Mind". Nas uses this song to kick off his classic Illmatic LP, and it's one of those songs that just feels like New York. And really, that's one of my major qualms about Jay's song. It doesn't really make you feel like you're there. The exact same song could be about any other city in the country, and you wouldn't think twice about it. Not to mention the fact that Jay-Z has three forgettable verses and A. Keys pretty much carries the entire song with the way she belts out that chorus. And I know I wasn't the only one that felt some sort of way about Jay-Z all but stealing Nas' song title and not even putting him on the record. Ugh, let's just move on...

Of course, another New York dedication that most other people think of is the song titled, simply, "New York". This song, by Ja Rule featuring Jadakiss and Fat Joe, was an amazing record that made New Yorkers such as myself act obnoxious at parties. Once you heard those synth notes at the beginning of the song, it just made you wanna pull your hat down real low and mean mug. Also, weren't those three verses all amazing? The biggest surprise of all had to be Fat Joe, who arguably had the best verse of all ("Now we killin' em hard, niggas sayin' I musta found Pun's rhyme book"). This song is also better than "Empire State of Mind".

Next, we have a classic from Mobb Deep entitled "Shook Ones". Now, this song isn't actually about New York, but you couldn't name me another song that has the gutter, subway riding, slapboxing, c-lo playing, bodega shopping feeling that so perfectly defines the nature of New York. I know I mentioned this before, but when I heard this beat come on during "8 Mile", I damn near lost my mind. There's something about this beat that brings you back to Gotham City. Again, better than "Empire".

This next song is one that I'm sure many of you haven't heard, but if you haven't, you should. It's called "Where It Started At (NY)", and it's on Hi-Tek second album. What makes this selection particularly embarrassing is the fact that Hi-Tek isn't even from New York; he's from Cincinnati, Ohio. Of course, when you make a song featuring Jadakiss, Talib Kweli, Papoose and Raekwon, you really can't lose. This is another song that feels like New York.

Oh, I almost forgot... "New York Sh*t" from Busta Rhymes featuring Swizz Beatz! Man oh man... this song is a monster. Busta and Swizz actually take the time to explain to you various ways through which they are on their New York ish. This may be one of the strongest New York songs ever, considering the lyrics ("Tims with the shorts on my New York sh*t... Razor in my mouth on my New York sh*t"). If you don't know why this song is better than "Empire", I really don't know what to tell you.

Obviously, my sentiment here is very clear: the song has to feel like New York in order to represent New York. I actually like Jay's song; I just don't think it's a "New York song". As a New York transplant who's no longer living there, I think the biggest indicator that this song doesn't do the state justice is that whenever I hear it, I don't particularly miss New York, or even think about it. New York songs are supposed to make New Yorkers proud, and make everyone else jealous. I don't know how envious out-of-towners feel when they hear this record, but if I were them, I wouldn't be.

Honorable Mention:
Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz - Uptown (Deja Vu)
Cam'ron ft. Jay-Z - Welcome to New York City
Jay-Z ft. Notorious B.I.G. - Brooklyn's Finest

"She's Not a Ho... Anymore"

2009-11-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

Hoes. What an interesting topic of discussion. They're everywhere, and everyone knows that they're hoes except for them, right? Well, not necessarily...

I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine who brought up the importance of someone's sexual past. His overall question was, basically, how important is it if a girl slept with a lot of guys in her past? And is it worth wifing up a chick that was a ho at some point in her life? I thought those were both valid questions, and we shared our views back and forth. But, since none of you were able to eavesdrop on our conversation (unless you stole my IP address), I will share our conclusions here.

The topic of hoes is nothing new to Red Light, Green Light; about a year ago, I dedicated a blogcast to discussing hoes (click here). Then, about four months back, I shared a blogcast with some friends in which the topic of hoes was raised once more (click here). But I think what sets this post apart is the notion of actually taking a ho seriously.

First off, how do we even know that a girl is a ho? Most of what we hear are rumors, anyway. Some are true, but most are exaggerated. For instance, if a girl sleeps with three different football players, the story usually somehow becomes that the girl let the entire offensive line run a train on her. You see what I mean? Little of what you hear should ever be taken for face value.

On the flip side, what if that stuff actually is true? Do you wanna be the guy who makes the train conductor your wifey? Probably not.

I think it's safe to assume that no one wants to date a ho or a former ho. But now, that raises two subsequent questions. First off, are there such things are former hoes? Is it possible for a girl who was once a ho to change her ways? Personally, I would argue yes. Everyone makes mistakes, whether they be sexual or otherwise. Some learn from those mistakes, others do not. But to judge someone for the rest of their lives based on a phase they went through is somewhat unfair. So yes, I do believe in ho reform.

The second question - and, really, the most important one - is, why are we so scared to get into a relationship and find out that our girlfriend used to be a ho? Are we really that judgmental? To this second question, I would also argue yes. And no. See, it's complicated. I think that, yes, there are certain men who want every girl they date to be as clean as a whistle with no dirty laundry to be found (even if the man himself was a ho for half his life, but I'll save the Double Standard Discussion for another day). But I think that the large majority of men who worry about a girl's sexual past don't really care themselves, but instead are worried about what other people will think.

Let's be honest here: As men, we like to showcase our women. We like to introduce a lady friend to our homeboys so that they can tell us, "Wow! She's great! I really like her, and she's gorgeous! I can't believe you pulled that off! You're the man now, dog!" But what if our friends know she used to be a ho? How proud are we then? Even worse, what if one of our friends slept with her??

Personally, I would never enter a relationship with a girl my friend banged. I might hook up with her, whatever whatever, but I'm never going to be able to take her seriously. If she wants me to wife her, she better keep that a secret and pray to the almighty heavens that I never find out.

Above all, I think one of the main factors that men consider when we enter relationships with a woman is homeboy approval. Yes, it's right up there with actual compatibility. If we fear that our friends will never accept you as a quality girlfriend, there are very slim chances that you'll ever become one. And we know it works the same with women. That's why a smart man always makes sure he's on his girl's friends' good side. Because if the homegirls don't like you, they'll talk about you. And we already know how that winds up...

So, in conclusion, I think what my friend and I ultimately decided was that a girl's sexual past really doesn't matter that much. it's all in what you know. A girl could have been a major ho in high school, but if you met her in college after she suddenly transformed into a good girl, you'd be none the wiser. And really, would you want to know she used to be a ho? I doubt it. It's a reputation thing above all else. We don't want to know the dirty little secrets, because they would taint the image we've built. And trust, EVERYONE has skeletons in their closet. But we don't want to know about them, and we want to make sure our friends don't know about them, either.

In the end, it's just like they say in that old cliche: Ignorance is bliss.

The "Daddy" Complex

2009-11-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

So, while I was driving back home from Atlanta this evening I was listening to ~~Tupac's~~ Makaveli's classic album The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory, which was also the last album he released before he died. As I was riding out, one of the songs caught my attention. Track number 7, which you can listen to here, is called "Just Like Daddy."

Anyway, the song got me thinking. What does he mean when he says he's just like Daddy? The girl he's talking about in the song is a woman who's neglected at home, whose father died when she was young, and who gets the love she desires from her boyfriend/ jumpoff/ whatever Tupac is represent. Given the context clues (hip-hop is educational), I assume what he means is that their romantic relationship is her substitute for the father-daughter relationship she never had.

Then, my mind took it a step further. I wondered if this is kinda what it means when a girl refers to her boyfriend as "daddy" or gives a man this paternal nickname in bed. Is she really saying that she wants him to be the father she never had (through the use of his d*ck)??

I've always been fascinated by the "daddy" complex, or concept, or what have you... Well, maybe not fascinated, but considering that I've never experienced it first-hand, I've always wondered how weird it would be if a girl called me "daddy" in bed. Would I be creeped out? Would I just stop what I was doing?? Would I ...*gulp*... like it?

I also wondered what would spur a woman to call a non-related man "daddy", especially in a sexual setting. Is it like some weird Freudian thing that I don't really get?

Suffice it to say, I still don't really get it. I know I've asked girls this question before, and most of them say they also think it's weird and that they've never called anyone "daddy". Of course, someone had to have done it, or else we never even would have heard of this practice. Maybe some of the girls I asked have said it before, but they're too embarrassed to admit it. I suppose I'll never really get to the bottom of the issue until I experience it for myself and someone calls me "daddy"...

What do you think?

Red Light, Green Light Presents: J. Brown - Summer Sessions

2009-10-05T23:34:00.000-07:00

It's finally here. My collection of summer freestyles in one compact, mixtape format, plus two bonus tracks. I also added a cover this time, and even took the time to go back and add a REAL LATE cover for Entry Level Mixtape (that was for you, Aaron).

Download: zShare | DatPiff
Tracklist:
1. Every Girl Freestyle
2. DOA (The Revival)
3. It's Only Facebook
4. Mafia Music Freestyle
5. Always Strapped Freestyle
6. Against The Wall
7. West Coast Tribute
8. Duckmouth
9. Contradictions (Why)
10. Beatbox
11. Recognize Freestyle
12. The Story (100 Bars)
13. The Finale
14. Already Home *Bonus Track*
15. Summer Love *Bonus Track*

Summer Sessions: The Finale

2009-09-11T02:11:00.000-07:00

Well, summer's over. Just in case Labor Day wasn't enough of an indication, this should do the trick.

Week 13 and the final installment of Summer Sessions. It's been fun. Mixtape dropping soon.

J. Brown - The Finale

Summer Sessions: The Story (100 Bars)

2009-09-03T14:37:00.001-07:00

I've always been a firm believer that in order to be a true MC, you have to have storytelling abilities. So, here it is, 100 bars worth. Pay attention...

J. Brown - The Story (100 Bars)

This is the 100th post of Red Light, Green Light, by the way. Woo hoo.

Summer Sessions: Recognize Freestyle

2009-08-25T11:04:00.000-07:00

Obviously, Summer Sessions would not be complete without a DJ Premier beat. Week 11 is over that glorious LOX instrumental. You better recognize...

J. Brown - Recognize Freestyle

Summer Sessions: Beatbox

2009-08-21T05:37:00.000-07:00

Week 10 got that old, freestyle-in-the-park feel to it, know what I mean? I wanted to bring it back to that classic hip-hop sound. And of course, dope lyrics as usual. Only a few weeks left...

J. Brown - Beatbox

Football, Looks & Single Ladies

2009-08-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

Alright, the laziness has ceased... back to the regularly scheduled program.

For my return to blogcasting, I discuss two quarterbacks who made their way back into the NFL: Michael Vick and Brett Favre. I give my outlook on both situations.

Also, I ask for some feedback to answer a question I've been asking myself: How much do your looks dictate the looks of those that you date? And is there really such thing as someone being "out of your league"?

Lastly, I touch on women who aren't married; is there really such thing as a happy, single woman?

Summer Sessions: Contradictions (Why)

2009-08-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

I know sometimes I don't make any sense. Well, this is me trying to make sense of the lack of sense I sometimes make. Make sense?

Week 9.

J. Brown - Contradictions (Why)

Coaches, Abortions & High Horses

2009-08-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Greetings, RLGL listeners/readers. I decided to write again this week, as you can tell by the length of this post. Some of you are happy to see me writing, others prefer the blogcasts. Quite frankly, your opinion is irrelevant to me at this point in time, especially since the overall feedback has been underwhelming for the past few weeks. If you want me to take your preferences into consideration, you'd best be able to get my attention by actually sending me some suggestions. Anyway...

I figured I'd touch on this Rick Pitino thing. For those that don't know who that is, Rick Pitino is one of the most popular coaches in college basketball. He became popular back in 1987 when he took the pathetic Providence Friars to the Final Four. Since then, he's taken three separate teams to the Final Four, becoming the first NCAA coach ever to do so. Currently, he coaches at the University of Louisville.

OK, now that you know his background, here's the actual story: Six years ago, Pitino was at a restaurant when some woman approached him and starting gushing about how awesome he was. After the restaurant cleared out, the owner left Pitino the key, and he had sex with this woman in the empty restaurant. Classy? I thought so. As you could have guessed, he wasn't wearing a rubber, and she ended up getting pregnant. As you also could have guessed, Pitino is a married man. After he found out that she was pregnant, he met up with this woman at one of his assistant coaches' house to, you know, get rid of the problem. (In the irony of all ironies, the woman actually ended up marrying Pitino's assistant coach six months after meeting him that day. Needless to say, they are currently estranged and going through a divorce.)

After they agreed that there was no way she would be having his baby, Pitino agreed to pay her for an abortion. He gave her $3,000, which sounds exorbitant to me. Aren't abortions like $300? I don't know if they charged her so much because she had no health insurance, but I'm under the impression that he just hit her off with the extra $2,700 as comp for the restaurant sex.

In any event, the same woman, who already had four children of her own, decided to extort him to keep their little secret intact. As we all know, college basketball coaches get paid some pretty healthy checks (half of which is probably spent on hair products). So she started asking him for cars, house payments, and college tuition for the four kids she already had. He refused to pay her, and she decided to accuse him of rape. Obviously, anyone would much rather be an adulterer than a rapist, so Pitino finally came out and admitted what actually happened.

Now that the truth has come to light, Pitino has been under all sorts of scrutiny, and the question has been raised of whether or not he should retain his coaching job. Here's my thing: When did we all become so righteous in this country? Obviously, cheating on your wife with a stranger isn't a commendable thing to do. But what does it have to do with coaching basketball?

Pitino released a public apology (as expected), and the president of University of Louisville said today that Pitino was still "our guy." I just wonder where everyone comes off having an opinion about his sexual escapades. I was never a part of the camp that believed that all public figures are supposed to be role models. Quite frankly, the only person who should be concerned about his infidelity is his wife. Why should the fans or the journalists or even the players care about who he's sleeping with? The only thing we should be concerned with is whether or not he's doing a good coaching job. If it doesn't affect his coaching, than we have no reason to care or voice our opinions.

It's kinda like that whole Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky thing. The President copped some dome in the Oral... umm, Oval Office and skeeted on Lewinsky's dress. Big deal. JFK was probably doing all kinds of unmentionable things to Marilyn Monroe back in the day, and no one cared about that. But Clinton fingers some intern with a cigar, and we want to impeach him? (Actually, I don't even think that's called fingering anymore... cigaring??) So far as I'm concerned, that doesn't interfere with his ability to run the country. To be honest, it might have helped him to release some stress and perform his job better, because we all know Hillary wasn't putting out.

All I'm saying is that not all public figures are supposed to be role models. They're just regular people. If their personal activities don't affect their performance, we have no reason to care. Get off your high horse, America.

Summer Sessions: Duckmouth

2009-08-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

For Week 8, I'm trying something a little different...

I bet you never heard nothing like this before. Shouts to FAMU and all the other HBCU marching bands.

J. Brown - Duckmouth

Gates, Guns & Goons

2009-08-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

I know I don't usually do this. In fact, I haven't done this ever in the history of this blog. But after almost a year of blogcasts, freestyles and Throwbacks, I decided to actually write this time around. I was too lazy to record anything this week, which is ironic, because my original reasoning behind blogcasting instead of blogging was because it was easier for me to get my thoughts out verbally. Oh well...

First off, let's touch on this Henry Louis Gates thing. I won't pretend like I know all the details, and I'm much too lazy to actually do the research. But from what I understand, this black professor couldn't get his front door open and was forced to break into his own house. His neighbor saw what was going on and called the cops on him. The cops showed up, he spazzed out, they arrested him for disorderly conduct. Now a bunch of black people are up in arms because they feel like he was a victim of racial prejudice.

Here's the thing, though... He wasn't arrested for breaking and entering. He was arrested for disorderly conduct. Which means two things: Number one, he saw cops come to his house to ask him about why he had to break in, and he lost it. We don't know what the conversation between him and the officers was. All we know is that he was arrested, and subsequently released. Numero dos, if his neighbor saw him trying to break into the house, should they not have called the cops? Furthermore, should the cops not have arrested him if he was truly out of line?

I, unlike other black folk, don't believe in using the race card to explain everything. Sometimes bad things happen to black people. And a lot of times it's on account of them acting ignorant. A part of me feels like as soon as he saw the cops show up to his house, he probably went all Malcolm X on them and felt like he was being a victim. When, in fact, they were simply responding to a domestic call. I don't know if the arrest was racially motivated. Not saying that it wasn't, but why is everyone so quick to assume that it was? We as black people need to look at all the facts instead of always assuming race is the deciding factor. Can we smarten up, please?

As a New York native, I know as much as anyone else that police brutality exists. And I also understand that a lot of cops make judgment calls on the basis of race. I'd even go so far as to say that I don't trust most police officers. But I don't think that every time a black person gets arrested, it's simply because they're black.

You know, the whole topic actually reminds me of the whole "Free (insert rapper's name)" movement that started a few years ago. From Gucci Mane to Pimp C to Tony Yayo, we always seem so concerned with making sure our rap brethren are released from prison. However, most of these rappers deserve to be in jail for doing stupid things. Take T.I. for example, who had Army guns in his basement like he was getting ready to go to Iraq. Or the aforementioned Pimp C, who actually pulled a gun on a woman in the middle of a shopping mall. Why would we wear t-shirts saying that we should free these people? Is it simply because they're black that we assume they can do no wrong?

Racial politics is a touchy subject that needs to be approached with caution. We need to look at the facts of a situation objectively without first asking, "Wait...Was he black?" That's unhealthy, and above all, it gives a lot of idiots the line of thinking that no matter what they do, it's always the white man's fault. A lot of people think that having a black President gives us the right to act however we want, because "now white people have to respect us." In actuality, Obama's inauguration has done nothing more than give us added responsibility. We have to understand that because of the President's position, everything we as a people do will be further scrutinized. Obama's presidency isn't a free pass; it's really a challenge.

Summer Sessions: West Coast Tribute

2009-07-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

Tribute to the other side of the map. Throw a W up...

Week 7.

J. Brown - West Coast Tribute

Top 5, Versatility & Technicalities

2009-07-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

I give my own answer to the question I raised last week: Who are your top 5 favorite MCs of all time??

I also ask listeners to weigh in on the Henry Louis Gates controversy, which you can read up on here, here and here.

Editor's Note: Shout out to Rae for being the only one to provide an answer to the sexy big white girl question: Anna Nicole Smith.

Summer Sessions: Against The Wall

2009-07-24T13:06:00.001-07:00

And just like that, we're halfway done.

Week 6, six more to go.

J. Brown - Against The Wall

Black Girls, Big Girls & Bigotry

2009-07-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

I'm impressed. Really. The feedback has been tremendous. Shout outs to everybody who added their perspective on interracial dating. The feedback can be found here, here, and here. Thank you to everyone who had something to say.

Tonight, I give my own perspective on interracial dating and whether or not I would date outside my own race.

I also raise the question, who are your top five MCs of all time?? The last two weeks have been great response-wise. Keep it up, y'all.

P.S. All the words that appear in red are actually links, for all you smart folks out there. (This is where you go back to the old posts and check to see what you missed.)

Summer Sessions: Always Strapped Freestyle

2009-07-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

^^ No homo. Week 5.

J. Brown - Always Strapped Freestyle

Mail Time, Malik & Marcus Garvey

2009-07-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

Last week's entertaining blogcast garnered a number of interesting responses, especially from my female audience. The response above was provided by my homey Gibbz, who you can check out here.

For today's blogcast, I spend a majority of the time relaying the feedback I received in response to the numerous questions we raised last week. I also raise the question of interracial dating, and ask for your feedback. (And you guys were really responsive last week, so let's do it again, shall we?)

Summer Sessions: Mafia Music Freestyle

2009-07-10T16:02:00.000-07:00

Week 4. It's movin'! (c) Red Cafe

J. Brown - Mafia Music Freestyle

Mistresses, Misleaders & Moscato

2009-07-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

For the first time ever, Red Light, Green Light is blogging from the road. And also, for the first time in a long time, I have guests.

Today's blogcast discusses Steve McNair's untimely death, and the potential consequences of having a mistress. We also get into a lively discussion about hoes, selfish sex, faking and much more. Needless to say, it gets very interesting.

As always, your comments are more than welcome.

Summer Sessions: It's Only Facebook

2009-07-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

"Nigga, you tryna pull hoes here?/ Tryna get to the trim like a mowing chair"

...And if you don't have Facebook by now, shame on you. Week 3.

J. Brown - It's Only Facebook

Celebrities, Autopsies & Hypocrisy

2009-06-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

What a weekend.

Without rambling on and on forever, I try to touch on all the topics from this weekend:
Michael Jackson, the BET Awards, Joe Jackson, celebrity deaths, Bernie Madoff and USA soccer.

Throwback Thursdays: 2Pac feat. Digital Underground - I Get Around (1993)

2009-06-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

"Hate to sound sleazy, but tease me/ I don't want it if it's that easy"

This song and video are both indicative of why I love and respect the legacy of Tupac (2Pac) Shakur. Despite me being from New York, I always say Pac was a better artist than Biggie, and people think I'm crazy. But here's my defense: Although Biggie said things in ways no one else could say them, Pac said things no one else was saying.

Obviously, "I Get Around" isn't the perfect example of Pac's deeper side, but the fact that he could go from a song like this to "Brenda's Got a Baby" to "Hit Em Up" to "Letter 2 My Unborn" shows just how versatile an artist he was. You think Biggie could have been able to switch topics like that? Of course not. I think a big part of Pac's legacy is the fact that he remains so enigmatic; there isn't really one way you can describe or categorize what he stood for, because he was such a polarizing personality.

A few noteworthy things I noticed from this video...
1.) Peep the blatant ass slapping and grabbing from the 2:05 mark to about 2:15. You gotta love how they were able to just, do that. No way in hell the video stations would allow that to fly in 2009. It's funny; we have a black President, we have all these gay rights for the first time ever, but our music videos can't show guns or booty. And people say our society is too liberal...

2.) Check out that classic old school dance that 2Pac pulls out at the 3:12 mark, which he even has the courtesy to reprise at the 3:49 mark. How fun is that? Furthermore, just try to picture Biggie doing that dance in a video. I dare you.

3.) How ridiculous is Shock G in this video? It's almost distracting, to be honest. From the outrageous afro to the cheesy shades to the weird voice, he almost stole the show. My favorite part, though, was towards the end when he really starts to get into his vocal adlibs. See: 3:38 mark.

Great song, great video. Tupac Shakur, rest in peace.

Sidebar: This will be the last Throwback Thursday for the summer, as I have some other things to attend to. Not to mention, I'll be busy banging out new freestyles every week. I may bring it back in the fall, I may not. I guess it depends on whether or not people enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy posting them. You know what to do, hit me up and let me know.

Summer Sessions: DOA (The Revival)

2009-06-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Week 2.

J. Brown - DOA (The Revival)

Rumors, Jumpoffs & Game

2009-06-22T16:04:00.000-07:00

What is game? Not this guy or this show, but actual game. Is it good for a guy to have it, and if so, how much is too much?

Also, I answer the age-old question of whether or not a jumpoff can ever become a girlfriend/boyfriend (my answer might surprise you).

Throwback Thursdays: Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) (1998)

2009-06-18T15:13:00.001-07:00

I don't know how many of you realize this, but this album not only won five (5) Grammy awards, it also went diamond, selling over 19 million copies worldwide. Needless to say, this is probably one of the most classic albums of our generation.

Classic album, classic song, classic video. The whole split-screen contrast between 1967 and 1998 is genius, too. Lauryn Hill is was such a dope artist. It's really a shame that she went crazy. But no matter what you do, people, don't compare all of us Jamaicans to this guy. It's not our fault, dammit.

You know, this song is really deep when you break it down. Although Ms. Hill never explicitly explains what "that thing" is, the lyrical implication is that men and both women both use the other sex to acquire what they want out of said relationship, whether it be sex, security or something else.

Does that mean that everyone's just selfish? Of course that's what it means, you idiots. Maybe that's why she didn't need to specify. At the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of pigs looking for "that thing"... *end of rant*.

Summer Sessions: Every Girl Freestyle

2009-06-16T00:32:00.000-07:00

And so, we begin.

Week 1 of 12.

Enjoy.

J. Brown - Every Girl Freestyle:

Phil Jackson, Black Mamba & Black Dante

2009-06-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

So, the Lakers won title number 15 last night. Yeah, big surprise.

Today's blogcast discusses the implication of the NBA Finals for Kobe Bryant, Phil Jackson, Hedo Turkoglu and both franchises. Also, will this ring satisfy Kobe's hunger for winning?

In addition, I provide my listeners with my second RLGL album review, this time discussing Mos Def's new album, The Ecstatic.

Throwback Thursdays: G-Unit - Wanna Get To Know You (2003)

2009-06-11T13:37:00.000-07:00

"Make a decision, shorty, good things don't last long/ Your girlfriend keep showing me that thong..."

Featuring Joe (not the Fat one or the Budden).

One thing about this song that I was never really sure about: When Joe sings the chorus, does he say, "I really wanna f*ck you, baby"? It really does sound like that, but then it seems so out of place for the mellow tone of the song. Someone answer that for me, please, I'd appreciate it.

This video has all your G-Unit needs: spinning chains, a cameo from The Game, and bra strap tank tops. And really, what else could you ask for? They also shamelessly plugged their G-Unit sneakers, which had just come out at the time. Of course, this is right before 50 Cent leaves a beach party to have sex with a stranger in the sand. Keep it classy.

I was a senior in high school when this album came out, and truth be told, I didn't really have any interest in G-Unit. I liked the Lloyd Banks mixtapes, but I was never much of a Cincuenta fan. The Game hadn't come out yet, and I automatically wrote off Young Buck because he was from the South (Sorry, Cashville). However, after much prompting from my friends, I finally decided to give it a listen. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by Beg For Mercy. Even more surprising to me was how well Young Buck performed. When I go back and listen to it today, it seems to me that he collectively had the best verses on the album. Furthermore, this is one of the best driving-around-in-my-car-with-the-system-up albums that I have. I'm still not really a G-Unit fan (Tony Yayo really, really sucks), but this album knocks.

Also, the Queens conglomerate returned the favor by being featured on a Joe song the following summer. Remember this song? This used to be my joint...

The N-Word, Hip-Hop & 2012

2009-06-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

Obviously, the n-word is controversial. But why, really?

~~Today's~~ Tonight's blogcast digs deeper into the issue, and I share my views on why it might not be that big a deal, after all. I also talk about the current state of hip-hop and why I think there might be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Throwback Thursdays: Scarface - Mary Jane (1997)

2009-06-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

Who is the King of the South? Is it T.I.? Lil' Wayne? Andre 3000??

Of course, the answer is Scarface. If you didn't know that, shame on you.

This song was actually a topic of conversation a few weeks ago when I was riding in the whip with some of my homegirls. This song came on, and, based on the piano intro, I thought they were about to play "Mary Jane." I was pleasantly surprised that they were about to play throwback Scarface on the radio. But then both of my friends looked at me all stupid like, "Scarface?? This is obviously Ashanti. Duuuuhhhh." How dare they. What really rubbed me the wrong way was that they weren't even familiar with this song when I tried to clear up my mistake. Damn Ashanti, always trying to sample classic hip-hop and make it her own.

This song, if you didn't figure it out, is actually about weed. It's the typical "I'm-talking-about-drugs-but-making-it-sound-like-I'm-talking-about-a-girl-so-they-can-play-it-on-radio" record. For more examples, listen to this or this. One thing about this video that stands out is how much skinnier he was back then. Face Mob has def put on some pounds over the past 10 years. Also, if the chick in the video is supposed to be the embodiment of weed, does that mean the guy who exhales at the end killed her? Or slept with her?? Either way, he smoked the other guy's dro; I don't know what the physical analogy to that would be.

I caught on to Scarface kinda late, as I didn't ~~purchase~~ download The Fix until like 2007. But, boy, was it worth it. I knew it was critically acclaimed, and even got Five Mics in The Source. (They also gave this album Five Mics, though, so what do they know.) But it wasn't until I heard it for myself that I really understood why Scarface is such a legend. Made is pretty good, too, if you're interested. Knock this joint here for a sample.

LeBron, Sexy Spec & Bruno

2009-06-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

I don't care if it was pre-planned, a surprise or an accident. That's just nasty.

Today's blogcast focuses on LeBron's failure to make it to the NBA Finals, and also some discussion on the two teams that did (L.A. Lakers & Orlando Magic). I also talk about the ridiculous Spectacular YouTube debacle that transpired last week, and the internet implications the the video featured above carries.

Oh yeah, and Zac Efron's reaction was priceless.

Throwback Thursdays: Twista feat. Kanye West - Overnight Celebrity (2004)

2009-05-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Remember this guy? The guy who rapped really fast from Chicago? He was pretty popular for a few seconds there, wasn't he? Remember that??

For whatever reason, from 2003 to maybe 2005, Twista was one of the biggest names in hip-hop. I'm not sure where it all started (probably with this record), but it seemed like he was everywhere, from his songs being smash hits to him being featured on other people's records. Kinda weird, considering that he dropped his debut album all the way back in 1992. For some historical significance, that's two years before Illmatic and Ready to Die came out.

So like I said, the guy got popular out of nowhere, most likely due to the Kanye West cosign. Speaking of Mr. West, I remember there being rumors that Twista was going to sign with Roc-A-Fella. (This is back when Roc-A-Fella still existed and people gave a damn about record labels.) He was featured on this Roc conglomerate song, spit a bar about being on the label on this record, and can even be seen wearing the Roc logo chain in the video featured above. Needless to say, he never ended up on the label, and no one really knows why. It can be assumed that his impending signing got screwed up due to Roc-A-Fella breaking up.

The hip-hop violinist, Miri Ben-Ari, was also featured in this video. I would call it her "big break," but I don't remember seeing much of her again after this. She was featured on a bunch of tracks from College Dropout, but there wasn't many hits for her past that. On the bright side, I saw her perform for halftime at a Heat game once, and that was pretty cool.

Did anybody else notice Da Brat in this video? What was she doing there? And why is she always dressed like a dude? Unbeknownst to most, she's actually kinda bad when she decides to look like a woman.

Also, if you guys needed any proof that this video qualifies as a throwback, notice that he is wearing a chinchilla coat. God forbid someone actually wore one of those today. That's, like, soooo 2004.

Veterans, Referees & Roller Skates

2009-05-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hope you all enjoyed your Memorial Day. Now it's time to return to reality...

Today's discussion explores the travesty that is the officiating in the NBA. I also talk about the recent release of everyone's favorite gravelly rapper.

Editor's Note: Here's a link for a blog entry I wrote four years ago complaining about the exact same thing: "The NBA is rigged!"

Coincidence? I think not.

Pitbulls, Good Guys & FML

2009-05-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one week?? I'm turning into this guy...

As promised, I address the issue I didn't have time to get to on Tuesday: The Good Guy Debate. I also talk about Mike Vick's situation and describe my ultimate FML moment.

Telltale Signs, I-85 & The Eastern Seaboard

2009-05-19T14:10:00.000-07:00

After a small break due to the release of my mixtape and some traveling (and searching for inspiration), the blogcast is back in motion.

Today, I share some tidbits in regards to my trip along the East Coast. I also talk about a scary incident that occurred on my way back, and touch on some telltale signs that prove whether or not a girl is "wifey material".

Red Light, Green Light Presents: J. Brown - Entry Level Mixtape

2009-04-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

Cheap production, rich quality.

Download: zShare | DatPiff

Tracklist:
1) Entro
2) Look What You Can Do
3) We In The House
4) Entry Level
5) Let's Talk About It
6) Donuts (Entrolude)
7) Only One Can Win
8) Cut Me Deep
9) The Cool Kids
10) Swing Ya Rag
11) '06 Freestyle
12) Hey Baby...
13) The Barkeep
14) 3 Black Men (Entrolude)
15) 3 Black Men
16) Three 16s
17) Vulnerability
18) Peace Outro
19) Certified Krunk *Bonus Track*

Throwback Thursdays: Nas - Halftime (1994)

2009-04-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Nas, why did you do it?/ You know you got the mad phat fluid when you rhyme, it's halftime"

After dwelling on the early 2000s for the past few weeks, I figured it was about time I got real old school. Surprisingly enough, this is the first time I've featured Nas on T-TDay. Surprising, of course, because he is my favorite artist. But you know that wasn't gonna last for much longer.

This is one of my favorite songs off his classic Illmatic album (if you don't have this album, you're not hip-hop). Most people talk about "It Ain't Hard To Tell", "NY State of Mind", or "One Love", but "Halftime" was always one of the songs that really resonated with me. Of course, the album is only 10 tracks long, with the first track being an intro. So it's hard not to like every song on this album, because there really isn't room for fillers. But I feel like he really went in on this song lyrically, with a lot of nice wordplay. Large Professor did a good job with the beat, as well.

One thing I noticed while watching this video (besides how old it looks) is how uncomfortable the 20-year-old Nas looks in front of the camera. Needless to say, he's come a long way. Also shout out to his wifey Kelis, who I recently heard is pregnant with the couple's first child. Congratulations to the Joneses.

Retirement, Champions & Kilimanjaro

2009-04-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned, RLGL faithful. The mixtape is on its way.

Today's blogcast focuses on the musical retirement of a hip-hop legend (at least he is on 106 & Park). I also touch on Wasulu's latest fiasco, and give my picks for the NBA postseason. Last but not least, I give an open invitation to all my listeners to send in at least one question for next week's blogcast (I'm serious this time).

P.S. The Yankees need to pick it up, too. I see you, CC!

Editor's Note: Lupe's LupE.N.D. album was actually supposed to be a triple-disc release, but the idea got scrapped.

Throwback Thursdays: Beanie Sigel & Freeway - Roc The Mic (2002)

2009-04-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

"All of y'all need to one yourself!/ Go get the burner, nigga, bang yourself!"

The 90s had Bad Boy. The early 2000s, though, had Roc-A-Fella (or Roc La Familia).

For a second, from like 1998-2001, it was kind of a two-way tie between the Roc and Ruff Ryders. But then Drag-On disappeared, Eve started doing sitcoms, and X couldn't put the pipe down. Needless to say, the Diamond Family kinda won out.

Beans and Freeway were basically the Robin and Nightwing to Jay-Z's Batman. Then Kanye West dropped "The College Dropout" in 2004 to keep the movement moving. Memphis Bleek was there too, but he's still there now, and nobody cares any more or less than they did then. (Sidebar: Why is he still wearing a durag? In 2009??)

As is usually the case with these rap guys, as soon as they got on, they decided to start a supergroup with every other rap guy that they knew growing up. In the case of Sigel and Freeway, they started a conglomerate of Philadelphia rap guys called State Property. Then they released a movie called (you guessed it!) "State Property." This song, of course, was on the soundtrack.

Beanie came out in 2000 with the Kanye-produced "The Truth." The first time I heard Freeway, though, was when he ripped a freestyle live on Hot 97. Jay had brought the whole Roc fam to the radio station to freestyle, and I set up shop with my portable radio and recordable cassette tape, ready to save the goodness. (This is before the days of mp3's. Don't act like you never taped your own mixtape.) They collectively went in for about 20 minutes, and it was pure crack. Freeway, though, really stood out (go to about the 1:20 mark). I don't know if he was necessarily that much better than the other guys, or if it was just because his voice was so unique.

Freeway, of course, performs the best with the beat on.

Bonuses, Comebacks & Old Folks

2009-04-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that he's actually back, right?

Today's blogcast discusses Mr. Mathers' comeback into the public eye, and why he's such a big deal to so many people.

I also touch on the idea of old people deciding to get married in the twilight of their lives, and I crown a new Bonehead Athlete of the Week (I know, it's been a while).

Throwback Thursdays: Dr. Dre feat. Knoc-turn'al - Bad Intentions (2001)

2009-04-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

From the soundtrack for The Wash.

After hearing this song for the first time in probably about 5 years or so, the first thing I noticed was that it was a lot more raunchy than I first remembered it. Probably because the version I was used to (TV, radio, etc.) was significantly censored. The song in and of itself is actually quite grimy, with Dre proudly rhyming about smutting chicks out. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I can't think of any other mainstream music videos that show the artists going to a brothel to bang some whores. I especially love how it was one of the girls' idea to go to Bad Intentions, despite there only being one guy who worked there.

The beat, though, is what makes this song memorable to me. That and Knoc-turn'al's chorus, simply because his voice is so unique and strange. For those of you who never heard this song, it might sound familiar to you because it was sampled in "Superugly", which was Jay-Z's last-second effort to defeat Nas in their hyped rap beef after he got Ethered. Of course, he still lost (this isn't debatable).

Dre, as we all know, has been in the process of putting out Detox for at least the past 5 years. I would say the album has been in development hell, but by all accounts, Dre has simply been dragging his feet on the project. Word around the industry is that Dre is such a perfectionist that he never feels like music sounds good enough until he's tweaked it a gazillion times. That's probably why this album still hasn't come out, 5 years later...

As far as Knoc-turn'al is concerned, I never really knew anything about homey other than that he was from L.A. and he was an associate of the Doctor. Apparently, he was one of Dre's many ghostwriters (you know how those producer-rappers are). He put out an album in 2004 which was chock full of famous appearances (Dre, Timbaland, Snoop, DJ Quik, etc.) and then apparently fell off the face of the earth. He dropped another album in 2006 which was released on the Sonic Wave Int. label, whatever the hell that is. I guess it's safe to say him and Dre aren't picking up hookers together anymore.

Young Girls, Hipsters & Special Announcements

2009-03-31T18:31:00.001-07:00

The characters shown above would be a perfect example of what you would classify as "hipsters". My question is, when did this all become so cool??

I touch on the subject of hipster rap, and also discuss the apparent need to find women at a young age (or, women of a young age).

Also, I share a very special, exclusive announcement...

Shout out to Nick V. and LU.

Throwback Thursdays: Baby feat. Clipse - What Happened To That Boy (2002)

2009-03-26T13:44:00.000-07:00

"UGGHHH! Another soul lost/ Had to make his shirt match my ox blood-colored Porsche"

I remember this beat being pretty addictive at the time when it came out. Ironic that Clipse was featured on this record, considering that it was basically the Southern version of this. Of course, the Neptunes produced both of them.

Baby, who by all accounts is a terrible rapper, decided for whatever reason to feature two brand-new, hungry rappers on his lead single. Of course, he had the worst verse. The third verse was the best one, no doubt, and Pusha T's verse also had the most memorable lines (or is that Malice? I can never really tell those two apart).

A few funny things about this video. First off, besides the completely head-scratching Roy Jones, Jr. cameo, did you guys see Lil' Wayne? I forgot he was even in this video, but it was definitely a welcome surprise. Forget the fact that he had probably half the tattoos he has now, and that he didn't yet have that ridiculous lip stud. Seeing him in a throwback Hawks jacket and fitted was a wide contrast to the way he dresses now.

Another thing is, after the song ends, what the hell is ~~Baby~~ Birdman talking about?? He says something along the lines of "Aye Pharrell, dig this shit, nigga. A thousand pieces, puzzle, a hundred, you know. Let's get this money." I have no idea what that means. It kinda reminds me of his random adlibs in this Lil' Wayne song in which he instructs Weezy to "put your feet down and your nuts on the concrete, and let's roll."

Speaking of Birdman and Wayne, they currently have this song out, which I this is dope, but I was told that it's like a year or two old, and that is was some dated mixtape material. Whatever... Baby hasn't had a song in years. He's not even in Wayne's videos anymore. I wonder if they had a falling out...? Or maybe Wayne just got tired of "kissing his daddy." Who knows.

Sidebar: This is probably the most homoerotic cover for a hip-hop magazine I've ever seen.

South Beach, Wedding Rings & Paying It Forward

2009-03-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm back, lovely people.

I know I said it'd be a two week break, but luckily for you, it was only one week. My trip to Miami was fun, but now it's back to business.

In today's blogcast, I share an interesting story from my South Beach escapades from last week. I also touch on the topic of paying it forward, and raise a few questions regarding wedding rings.

Throwback Thursdays: Kanye West feat. Syleena Johnson - All Falls Down (2004)

2009-03-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

Remember back when Kanye West used to rap?? (shots fired.)

This is hands down my favorite single from Mr. West, no question. I remember the first time I heard this song, too. I was in the senior cafeteria at MVHS (Shout outs to Vernon!), and one of my friends had the spoken word version of this song. I thought the lyrics were pretty awesome, and at the time I didn't even realize it would become a hit rap song. I think that's why this song stands out so much to me. Besides it having a beat that knocks, the lyrical message about materialism is particularly refreshing, in my opinion.

The original version of the song, as a matter of fact, is even more amazing than the version featured above. That's because the original features the one and only Ms. Lauryn Hill, who is pretty much a legend despite dropping only one LP (Unplugged albums don't count). Unfortunately, Kanye couldn't get the rights cleared in time for his album release, so he had to call Syleena Johnson at the last minute and have her fill in.

The video is an interesting one, and I liked the idea of having the entire thing in first person. The part at the 2:50 mark where he goes through the metal detecting machine and his X-ray starts rapping was a bit corny in my opinion, but overall, I thought it was executed well. I'm personally more a fan of videos that depict the song, so I would have liked to see maybe a visual story of the people he's rapping about in each verse, but I guess that would have made too much sense. On the bright side, the video features the ever-beautiful Stacey Dash.

Miss Dash, who is 43 and was 38 when this video came out, still manages to look like she's 25. In fact, she was 29 when she played a high school student in Clueless. Stacey is actually a relative of Dame Dash, who was an executive at Roc-A-Fella at the time. I assume he hooked this up for Kanye. Of course, it would be ludicrous to even mention Stacey Dash without mentioning how ridiculously hot she is. Of all the celebrity Playboy pics I've seen, hers have to be the best (NSFW, clearly).

Now, five years later, Kanye is putting out songs like this, and Dame Dash is no longer with the Roc. Instead, he's backing Jim Jones and making ridiculous statements like this. My, how times have changed.

Twitter, Ladders & Followers

2009-03-10T12:32:00.001-07:00

What exactly is the point of Twitter? Does anyone know, or is it just the new cool thing that everyone does without knowing why they do it??

Today's post discusses the art of "twittering", the Ladder Theory, and a phenomenon I like to call "blacks following blacks."

No blogcasts for the next two weeks, so soak this one up and enjoy.

Throwback Thursdays: Jadakiss - Put Ya Hands Up (2001)

2009-03-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

"And y'all scared, I can tell/ And I'ma get Bucks like Milwaukee, cuz like Sam, I Cassell (can sell)"

I told you I was sticking to this era...

This song was Jadakiss' first solo single ever, as he was originally a part of the L.O.X. triumvirate. Actually, the group is still together, but they all decided to put out solo albums, and Kiss was the first to do so. Unfortunately, L.O.X. hasn't put out a group album since their 2000 classic We Are The Streets. The hood needs a new one, fellas.

This video has a number of mentionable things in it. First off, we get an open view of breast and nipple within the first minute of the video, which is always fun. And if you think that's bad, check out the super-NSFW uncut version of his second single, "Knock Yourself Out."

He does this in all his videos, but it still makes me laugh when he cheeses with that ridiculous smile directly into the camera. Maybe it's because you don't see rappers smile that often, or maybe it's because he seems so elated, but it just cracks me up every time. Also, we get a glimpse of that little dance that he does at the 2:37 mark, which he resurrects in the clean version of "Knock Yourself Out." (Melyssa Ford is in the clean version, if that's any motivation to watch it.) Speaking of dances, we get more of the Harlem shake during the third verse, which, like I told you, was the hottest dance out.

Sheek Louch and Styles P. obviously pop up in the video to support their L.O.X. brother. Other cameos include Eve and Swizz Beatz, who became Jada's labelmates after the L.O.X. left Bad Boy for Ruff Ryders. I know I mentioned this before, but Double-R was really like the biggest movement at the time. Roc-A-Fella kinda took over after that, but Ruff Ryders were absolutely huge from like 1998-2002. Speaking of cameos, did you all notice Cassidy at the 2:33 mark?? Homey looked like he was fresh out of homeroom. He was a nobody back then, but it's nice to see that he and Swizz stuck together after all these years.

Me posting this video was no mistake; everyone knows I'm an L.O.X. stanley. Jada hasn't had an album since Kiss of Death in 2004, but he's finally dropping something new this Tuesday (March 10). It's called The Last Kiss, so go pick that up.

Underground, Mixtapes & Cheating

2009-03-04T11:35:00.000-08:00

On today's blogcast, I give my reviews of two albums I listened to last night: Drake's So Far Gone and Joe Budden's Padded Room. I also pose some interesting questions about cheating in today's society (I'm looking at you, ladies).

Throwback Thursdays: Timbaland & Magoo - All Y'all (2001)

2009-02-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

Featuring Tweet and Sebastian, whoever the hell that is.

I really like the whole video idea where the camera keeps moving from spot to spot. Even though there are no particular camera tricks involved to hide that they're on a video set, I think the fluidity of it all makes it entertaining. I kinda wish more videos did this, instead of just having some rapper throw money and pose in front of 50 random people in his neighborhood (most of which he probably doesn't even know). I also enjoyed the random Bubba Sparxxx cameo at the 2:10 mark. He might need his own T-Thursday soon.

This song is reminiscent of the era when I really liked Timbaland. I thought this beat was nice. Not one of his best, but definitely similar to the sound he was making in the earlier parts of this decade. Nowadays, he seems to be focusing more on being some sort of pop-techno producer, which I personally am not a fan of. As far as Magoo is concerned, I know nothing about him other than that his voice sounded funny.

Tweet was pretty popular for like 14 months off the strength of that song she had where she was bragging about pleasuring herself. (DJ Diddles, anyone?) She had one more semi-hit before falling off the face of the earth. I'm not sure what happened to her, but I really liked the last song I heard from her, despite it not ever really becoming popular.

I'm really feeling that era of hip-hop from like 1999-2002, so you'll probably be getting a bunch of those in the next few weeks...

Money, Dates, & Valentines

2009-02-24T17:57:00.000-08:00

Today, I raise an interesting question about dating: How much does money play a part in relationships?

Also, I talk about the difference between men's and women's approach to Valentine's Day, and wonder how prevalent actual dates are in today's "dating" scene.

Oh yeah, and shout out to Aaron.

Throwback Thursdays: Cam'Ron feat. Ma$e - Horse & Carriage (1998)

2009-02-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

KILLA!

Hard to believe this song is over ten years old, and, of course, it makes me feel like an old head. But forget about how much it reminds me that I'm growing up too fast. How about the fact that Cam sounds nothing like this anymore??

This record comes off his debut album Confessions of Fire, which is heat rock to the third degree. As is the case with most debut albums, he went hard, presumably because he had something to prove as a rap rookie. For further proof, listen to this. Of course, as the success and the money started to come in, Killa Cam went from that to this. No surprise, really; this happens all the time in hip-hop.

Another interesting note is that Cam'Ron was still making records with Rev. Betha at the time, which would probably never happen today. After Ma$e hung up his shiny suit and decided to become a pastor, Cam and his boy Jim Jones claimed that he got ran out of Harlem by some thugs that he had problems with. ("Is dat you, Beffa?!?") Long story short, I doubt these former Children of the Corn have each other's number on speed dial.

Unfortunately, Ma$e is not featured in this video, but it does have a whole bunch of cameos, including Tyson Beckford, Noreaga, Styles P and Fatman Scoop. My favorite, though, is when Jimmy shows up on stage next to Cam at the 1:45 mark. I mean, I know he always looks super scruffy, but that look he was rockin' back in '98 was something else. He looks like a bootleg Snoop with that ridiculous perm.

Cam'Ron had a falling out with his Diplomats crew, and even disappeared for a while, causing people to question where he was. He recently reappeared, claiming that he was in Miami taking care of his mother, who had suffered from a stroke. He's also rapping again, and has this provocative new video that I thought was a really cool concept. Look out for Crime Pays, which is scheduled to drop in April. But we all know how reliable hip-hop album release dates are.

Of course, no matter what Cam does for the rest of his career, nothing will compare to his classic appearance on The Sly Fox channel. YOU MAD?!?

Muslims, Drag Queens & Energy Shots

2009-02-17T17:27:00.000-08:00

Shout out to all the brothers who got caught up spending dough last Saturday. Hope you got something out of it...

Today's blogcast discusses the drama surrounding A-Rod's energy shots confession. I also express my disdain for Tyler Perry and his coonish ways, and touch on the outrageous actions of a (surprise!) Muslim man in New York.

Throwback Thursdays: G. Dep feat. P. Diddy & Black Rob - Let's Get It (2001)

2009-02-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 50TH POST!

Ok, now that that's out the way...
I'm not sure what the response was around the rest of the country, but this video and song were absolutely HUGE in New York. I guess I was in about 10th grade at the time, and everyone was doing the Harlem shake constantly. It was the hottest dance out, I guess similar to how everyone in the South was "walking it out" a few years ago.

Something that I saw before I posted this was Wikipedia's hilarious explanation of where the dance originated. How funny is it that some bum-ass alcoholic started this whole phenomenon? Only in Harlem.

Probably the only thing funnier than watching the little kids dance is watching ~~Diddy~~ ~~Puffy~~ P. Diddy dance around and be a camera whore, despite it not being his song. In fact, he's even more obnoxious in G. Dep's other video, "Special Delivery". But, of course, he has a history of being "all in the videos, all on the records, dancing", as Suge Knight so eloquently pointed out.

So whatever happened to Mr. Dep? Well, since he was signed to Rape'N U Records, I'm sure you can assume what his fate would ultimately become. (Remember Dream??) He was released from his contract after his album failed to live up to expectations, whatever that means. Ironically enough, he put out a 2007 album with another Bad Boy outcast named Loon. The album title? Bad Boy, of course.

Last I saw from Dep, he was releasing low-budget music videos on the internet. But look on the bright side; at least he's not this guy.

Beatdowns, Babies & Best Life

2009-02-11T14:19:00.000-08:00

As we rapidly approach post numero cincuenta, I thought it appropriate to make RLGL history. Yep, you've guessed it...

A guest feature.

My homey Nick joins me as we discuss Chris Brown and Rihanna's tussle, and the "baby lady" from California.

In addition, we brainstorm on which celebrity's life we'd most want to have.

Throwback Thursdays: Junior M.A.F.I.A. feat. Notorious B.I.G. - Player's Anthem (1995)

2009-02-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

Junior M.A.F.I.A. - New Music - More Music Videos

Another request from an RLGL listener. 'Preciate the feedback, keep it comin'.

Ironically, I'm supposed to be going to see "Notorious" tonight, three weeks late. I was supposed to have seen it for the past two weeks now, but plans kept falling through. I hope it's good.

It's funny how most people consider both the above song and this record to be Biggie's songs, despite them not being his songs at all. Both songs were on Junior M.A.F.I.A.'s debut album Conspiracy, which was released after Biggie's debut Ready to Die. Obviously, they were really just a bunch of Big's cronies who were trying to ride their homeboy's coattails to success.

I'm not sure how much that actually worked out for them, considering that there were seven members of the group and I only know Lil' Kim and Lil' Cease. Kim went on to have a pretty successful career after Biggie died. That was, of course, until she committed perjury and changed her face multiple times.

The group broke up, like every rap supergroup inevitably does. Last I heard from Cease, he was releasing hood workout DVDs like he was fresh outta jail or something. Last I heard from Kim, she was on stage with her breasts popping out of her shirt.

Oh yeah, and there was the whole brouhaha with Kim being unhappy about the way she was portrayed in the "Notorious" movie. Of course, if you were a married man's jumpoff, and you're portrayed as such, can you still be mad?? I guess I'll have to see the movie for myself to determine if she has reason...

Feedback, Auctions & Porn

2009-02-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

How much would you pay to sleep with this chick??

Natalie Dylan is back, and I discuss the ridiculousness of her virginity auction.

Also, I share the feedback I received from black women in regards to my previous post, and talk about the surprise Super Bowl special that was given in Arizona.

Throwback Thursdays: Ja Rule feat. Ashanti - Always On Time (2001)

2009-01-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

Don't even try to front like you didn't like this song.

I remember seeing this video for the first time back when it came out. (Remember back when people still watched music videos? You know, back when MTV and BET actually played music videos??) I didn't know who Ashanti was, because this single actually jump-started her career. What I did know, however, was that I thought shorty was fine. I know she caught a lot of flack over the years from people who said her voice wasn't that great, or females hating on her by talking about her sideburns, but bump all that... shorty could still get it. What up, Nelly.

I know a lot of people hated on Ja Rule, too, especially after that whole beef he had with 50 Cent. And yeah, he lost that war, and he's all but disappeared from the rap scene since then. But despite what you jokers think, I liked Ja Rule. Granted, I don't own any of his albums, and I'm not saying I'm a stan or nothing like that, but I enjoyed pretty much ever single he put out. Now front and say you didn't like this song. Or that this one wasn't your jam. Come on, man... the guy made hits.

"Always On Time" was one of my favorites, which is why I decided to post it on this lovely Thursday. The song, in short, is about Ja's relationship with a female in which both parties are each other's jumpoff. Cool topic, especially since this type of relationship exists with so many people in real life. Too bad it never really works out without someone eventually catching feelings...

This song was on his Pain Is Love album, which was apparently his highest-selling album of a pretty successful career. That was, of course, eight years ago. The last couple tracks I heard from Mr. Rule were this semi-annoying record with Lil' Wayne, and this other song, which I actually liked. Both songs were supposed to be on his new album entitled The Mirror, which was supposed to come out in Nov. 2007. Apparently, a gang of songs from the album leaked, so the project got shelved. He's currently working on... something. I guess.

Black Chicks, Marriage & 44

2009-01-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

Congrats to Barack H. Obama, the 44th President of the United States.

Today's blogcast might hurt some feelings, but...what's up with black chicks nowadays? I pose some questions, and hope to gain some feedback on the situation. Also, some discussion on our latest President, and some commentary on whether or not happy marriages still exist.

Previously: Men, Women & O.J.

Throwback Friday: Sporty Thievz - No Pigeons (1999)

2009-01-09T13:05:00.000-08:00

My fault, y'all. I got caught slippin' yesterday, so Throwback Thursday is coming a day late this week. No worries; the consistency will come back soon enough.

This song was so refreshing for many men like myself when it came out (or, boys like myself, since I was like 12). This song was a direct rebuttal to TLC's "No Scrubs", which was basically a gold digger anthem about how men without money were good for nothing. There were a number of R&B songs during the late 90's that were about no-good men (i.e. "Bills, Bills, Bills", "Independent Women", "Bug A Boo", "He Wasn't Man Enough", etc.). It was nice to finally have males come up with a response. I was surprised, though, that they were able to get away with putting out a single using the exact same beat as the TLC record. The punchlines in this song especially hit the spot, specifically gems such as "Ya flat ass gets enough laughs/ Take it to the salon, pluck your mustache." You couldn't help but laugh when you heard this song, especially if you were a male.

According to the Sporty Thievz's wikipedia page: "They are notable for their minor debut hit "Cheapskate (You Ain't Gettin' Nada From Us)" and perhaps more so for satirically providing a male counterpoint to the female-oriented, anti-male R&B music popularized in the late 1990s and early 2000s, something that was not done by ANY other group at the time. This makes them the FIRST Hip-Hop group to champion the cause for equality (and against double standards) between men and women."

As a somewhat unrelated note, that part at 2:11 mark where ol' buddy is standing there with all those birds on him reminded me of the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2. I guess I'm just weird like that.

Immigrants, Resolutions & Tattoos

2009-01-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

Only in America.

For the first post of the new year, I discuss the citizenship process, New Year's resolutions and the idea of getting tattoos. Welcome back, y'all.

Throwback Thursdays: Method Man & Redman - Da Rockwilder (1999)

2008-12-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

This is a great record. It particularly stands out, because it's the only single that I can think of that is two minutes long and has no hook. The only other song I can think of is P.S.A., and that wasn't even really a single. They just played it on NY radio because everyone on Hot 97 is a Jay-Z stan.

Anyway, these two guys are just fun. I specifically remember this video because of the "choreographed dancing" that they were doing the whole time. They just seemed to be having so much fun with each other (nhjic). And honestly, that's exactly what this tandem is all about: having fun. They're a bunch of goofballs, and they're not scared to joke around with their music, which is something you rarely see in the hip-hop world.

These guys were on the famous Hard Knock Life Tour that I mentioned here, after which they dropped their only album together. The album featured the song shown above, which I believe was titled after the producer who made the record. They would then go on to star in a comedy together, which was then followed by an unsuccessful sitcom. They keep saying that they're going to do another album together, but they've been saying that for the past 10 years.

It would be nice to see something new from Doc & Meth. After all, the only clown we have left in hip-hop is this buffoon, and he barely qualifies as a rapper.

Men, Women & O.J.

2008-12-09T21:16:00.000-08:00

With the O.J. trial Part II wrapping up this past weekend, I felt it appropo to mention Orenthal's latest verdict. As they say, karma is a... well, you know.

Also, discussion on the age-old debate: Men vs. Women. Instead of complaining about who's right and who's wrong, why don't we try to come up with some solutions? I think I may have some answers.

Throwback Thursdays: Canibus - Second Round K.O. (1998)

2008-12-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about the best beef tracks of all time. Of course, the LL Cool J vs. Canibus feud came up. I wasn't very familiar with the beef, so we went to YouTube.

The whole thing started when Canibus was featured on LL's song "4, 3, 2, 1". Canibus' original verse referenced LL's microphone tattoo, saying, "L, is that a mic on your arm? Let me borrow that." Cool James was offended by the lyric, as he felt that Canibus was taking shots at him. He asked Canibus to change his verse, to which he obliged. However, LL never changed his verse, on which he said, "The symbol on my arm is off limits to challengers." Canibus' original verse eventually leaked, and people figured out that LL's verse was directed towards Canibus. After that, it was on.

Canibus followed up with the video shown above, which was featured on his debut album. LL then responded with "The Ripper Strikes Back". Canibus responded to that with "Rip the Jacker". There were a few more shots the two took at each other following that, but eventually, the beef just sorta fizzled out.

There are differing opinions on who really won this battle. In my opinion, "Second Round K.O." was the best song of the entire feud. Canibus really went in, even going to far as dissing LL's corny TV show ("And if you really want to show off, we can get it on/ Live in front of the cameras on your own sitcom"). However, "The Ripper Strikes Back" was a great response, and "Rip the Jacker" didn't really hit as hard. So, even though I felt Canibus had the best song, you're only as good as your last punch. LL's final punch was harder, so I guess that means he won.

Oh, and for the record, the top five beef tracks probably go something like this:

1. Nas - Ether
2. 2Pac - Hit 'Em Up
3. Jay-Z - Takeover
4. Boogie Down Productions - The Bridge Is Over
5. The Game - 300 Bars & Runnin'

Black Friday, Grammys & Plaxico

2008-12-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

They say art imitates life, right? Maybe life imitates art, too.

In the ultimate example of movie mimicking, this week's Bonehead Athlete of the Week is a real no-brainer. No, seriously, a no-brainer.

Also, some discussion on Black Friday and this year's Grammy nominations.

Thanksgiving Throwback Thursday: Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day (1992)

2008-11-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

"Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God/ I don't know, but today seems kinda odd..."

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to commemorate the song that described the perfect day?

I like this song. It's real mellow and smooth; it kinda reminds me of a calm Saturday afternoon, one of those days where you just sit back, chill, bump some music and be lazy. The Isley Brothers sample really does the trick here.

I know it's a holiday, so I won't exasperate you all with the usual history lesson that I tend to give on Throwback Thursdays. However, there is something that must get mentioned.

When you think of old-school Ice Cube, you're reminded of records like this, and more specifically, his AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted album, which solidified his spot in hip-hop history. As if being a part of the first commercially publicized gangsta rap group wasn't enough, he completely turned the tables with his debut solo album by laying down effective, politically-charged lyrics about the struggles of being black in America.

When you look at Ice Cube today, you almost forget about that guy. Nowadays, he's popularized himself as the B-list actor who makes movies like Are We There Yet? So please, somebody explain to me, how can anyone ever possibly go from this to this?? I'll never understand.

Thanksgiving, Trickin' & Strippers

2008-11-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

The above video inspired the following question: Is it really trickin' if you've got it??

Also, some pre-holiday conversation, an analysis of The Stripper Debate, and a tribute to "Meast". R.I.P. Sean Taylor.

Throwback Thursdays: DMX - Ruff Ryders Anthem (1998)

2008-11-20T14:14:00.000-08:00

Another email request from an RLGL listener. Keep the emails coming.

This song is so classic. It's very representative of the NY rap scene at the time, actually. I remember when I was in middle school, the two biggest rappers at the time were DMX and Jay-Z. Of course, that meant the two biggest labels were Ruff Ryders and Roc-A-Fella. (It sounds almost foolish to say this now, but I'm pretty sure from 1998 to about 2000, DMX was actually better than Hov. Blueprint changed all that, but I'm just sayin'.) This record was not only a breakout hit on X's debut album, it also established his entire clique by way of the song's title.

Now, prior to his first album coming out, DMX created a buzz for himself by appearing on records such as this and this. His gritty, aggressive flow was a unique and welcome difference to some of the other music that was popular at the time. Dude had bars, but he also had a history of creating both excessive ("I got blood on my d*ck, cuz I f*cked a corpse") and borderline homo ("You hold my d*ck while he suckin' it") lyrics. 1998 was a good year for hip-hop, though, as expressed in this article.

If you look closely enough, you'll see Eve, Drag-On and all three members of the L.O.X. in the video. They were a pretty dope tandem of rappers, and it's a shame that they aren't all still together. They actually went on a huge tour with Roc-A-Fella back in 1998 called the Hard Knock Life Tour, which, I assume, is where this legendary battle cypher took place.

X started his career off real strong, with his first three albums going four, three and six times platinum, respectively. Things started to go downhill for the Dark Man with his fourth album, which still managed to go platinum, but just wasn't as good as his first three. After he dropped his fifth album, he said he was going to retire, and there were rumors buzzing around that he was planning on pursuing a career as a preacher. While preaching would be a direct contrast to his rap persona, it remained somewhat believable, considering that he used to rap a prayer at the end of every album.

He didn't retire or become a preacher, instead opting to drop a sixth solo album three years later. All the while, he had been starring in bad movies and getting arrested. Nowadays, he's always in the news for some sort of felony or misdemeanor. I can't tell you the last time he put out a record, but it seems that he manages to get arrested at least once a month. Speeding, DUIs, cocaine possession...you name it, he's done it. The funniest, in my opinion, is when he stole a car at an airport and pretended to be a federal agent. You really can't make this stuff up.

It's safe to say that drugs ruined what was once a very successful rap career. To think that he and Jay-Z were actually comparable at one point, it's sad to see how far apart they are now. This is still a great song, though.

Holidays, Insiders & Jail Sex

2008-11-20T13:50:00.000-08:00

Despite his apparel, this guy actually isn't a basketball player.

Still, he's close enough. This man's actions have qualified him for Bonehead Athlete of the Week. Also, some discussion on the commercialization of American holidays and the wild capers that were taking place in an Indiana jail.

Overtime, TRL & Nigga Films

2008-11-17T12:56:00.001-08:00

If you don't see anything wrong with this picture, I pray to God you're not black.

This Monday post of RLGL discusses yesterday's strange overtime ending in the NFL, the end of a classic top 10 countdown show, and my personal motion to end the production of nigga films. (If you click the link, you'll understand.)

P.S. Conan's late night show replacement will be Jimmy Fallon, not Jimmy Kimmel. Honest mistake, but I guess that's what I get for skimming. My reporting professors would be proud.

Throwback Thursdays: Snoop Doggy Dogg - Gin And Juice (1993)

2008-11-13T12:35:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who thinks of this song every time they hear anyone reference gin? And furthermore, who drinks gin??

In any event, I felt that I had been giving East Coast rappers all the shine on Throwback Thursdays. So, I figured it would only be right to give props to one of the West Coast's legends, Mr. Cordozar Broadus (yes, that's actually his name).

Snoop got his start by being heavily featured on Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" album, which is widely regarded as a hip-hop classic. It was a good look for the Dogg, especially considering that he ethered Dre on most of his own records. Of course, that was followed by Snoop signing with Death Row Records and dropping a classic of his own, "Doggystyle". Classy title. According to the good people at Wikipedia, the album went four times platinum.

While recording the album, Snoop was indicted for his involvement in a gang shootout and murder. He hired Johnnie Cochran, so you already know he beat the charge. He dropped one more album with Death Row before their inevitable breakup. He claimed that Suge Knight was jerkin' him out of his money, seeing as how Suge held ownership to every record Snoop made until his contract expired (think Puff Daddy vs. L.O.X.). He refused to make any more records with Death Row, and then signed with No Limit Records.

After switching labels, he shortened his name from Snoop Doggy Dogg to just Snoop Dogg. I'm still not sure why, but No Limit was pretty popular in the late '90s (HOODY HOO!). Snoop rolled with them for a while and tried the whole rap supergroup thing, which never really works out well. He dropped three different albums under their helm before parting ways with Percy. He then dropped an album in 2002 that featured this gem, which is a song I consider to be among one of the best singles of his career. Them Brazilian chicks in the video weren't half-bad, either.

After he left No Limit is when things started to get a little ridiculous. He put out "Drop It Like It's Hot", which is the first new song I remember hearing my freshman year of college (is that Lauren London in the video? She could get work). This was a good song (or a good beat, at least), but we really started to see Snoop's skills diminish at this point. It was like watching Patrick Ewing limping up and down the court for the Orlando Magic. Or watching Greg Oden as a rookie. Just pathetic.

It seems at this point in his career, he doesn't really expect anyone to take him seriously. Honestly, I think he stopped taking himself seriously. What makes songs like "Gin And Juice" so memorable is that he no longer raps like that anymore. Nobody considers Snoop to be among the best rappers in any category, and he's been in the game for 15 years. It's almost as if he's allowed himself to become a hip-hop caricature, highlighting everything stereotypical and nonsensical within the culture.

You knew it was over for Snoop when he started making videos like this one and starring in "nigga films" such as these. The real icing on the cake, though, came when he decided to make a country song as a tribute to Johnny Cash. If you click no other link in this post, be sure to click that one. You're guaranteed to either laugh out loud or shake your head in shame. Maybe even both.

Suffice it to say, I can no longer in good conscience cosign Snoop Dogg. I think comparing this video to the music he makes today will make it crystal clear how far he's fallen off. R.I.P. to Cordozar's career.

Juries, California & No Homo

2008-11-11T13:22:00.000-08:00

I'm convinced. I never want jury duty.

Discussion (and criticism) of the criminal justice system, my thoughts on the passing of Proposition 8, and my public vote to ban "no homo".

Here are the links I promised, by the way. You know I always give my people what they want. Pause.

Buzzer-Beaters, Basketball & The No Fun League

2008-11-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

And just like that, the NBA season is upon us.

This Friday edition of RLGL touches on the basketball game shown above, previews the NBA season, and crowns another Bonehead Athlete of the Week. Also, some discussion on the NFL's strange double standards.

Throwback Thursdays: Eminem - My Name Is (1999)

2008-11-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

I remember the first time I heard this song. I was probably...well, in 1999, I musta been in the 7th grade. I thought the song was funny, and just assumed that the rapper was making his voice sound funny for comical reasons. Little did I know that he only sounded like that cuz he was white. I had no idea who he was, though, and someone told me his name was Eminem. Naturally, I thought they were talking about M&Ms. It sounds ridiculous now, but it wasn't that far-fetched at the time, considering that those little bastards were putting out commercials every other week.

Turns out Mr. Mathers was much more than just a goofball. Truth be told, he was probably one of the best lyricists of the past 10 years. He's most likely in the top 5 of anyone's list of rappers from the past decade. His delivery is impeccable, and the way he puts words together is pretty amazing. I think what makes him stand out is the way he seemingly pays attention to every single syllable in every single word. Sometimes, he even manages to match words that don't even rhyme.

I believe that his decision to introduce himself to hip-hop as a clown was a wise one. Let's be completely honest with ourselves; had he come out with some real records, he would have been ridiculed simply because he's white. No one would have ever taken him seriously, and we'd all be comparing him to this guy. By making fun of himself before we got a chance to do it, he entered a "safe" zone within the hip-hop community. That allowed him to make more serious records in the future.

Now, I could post link after link after link of gems from Eminem, but the one song of his that stands out the most to me is this one. In my humble opinion, it's his best song. I think what sets it apart is not only the usual lyricism, but the fact that he was willing to just say how he felt without sugarcoating it. He exposed himself, and allowed the fans to take a glimpse into his mind. It was something that you didn't see very often at the time, and you barely see it that much today, either.

After putting out a movie that was based loosely on his life, Eminem dropped "Encore" in 2004, which was easily his worst album to date. That weed plate was a complete bust, and people began to question whether or not he lost his skill. He then released a plethora of songs about his daughter Hailie before supposedly disappearing off the face of the earth. Since '04, he's been chillin' at home, taking care of his kids and getting fat. Then, out of nowhere, rumors started to swirl around that he would be releasing an album called "Relapse" either late this year or early in 2009. He even dropped a freestyle to prove that he still got it. Hopefully this album actually comes out, unlike "Detox", which was supposed to have come out each of the last six years. We'd love to see you come back, Marshall.

Barack, Black Folks & The Slope

2008-11-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

The 44th President of the United States of America is a black man. I just know Dr. King is somewhere smiling right now.

Throwback Thursdays: AZ feat. Daddy Rose - I'm Back (2002)

2008-10-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

I got up on AZ pretty late, which is surprising, since I'm such a Nas stan. But dude is pretty dope, and I remember this song, especially considering the addictive horns and the insane soul sample.

The first thing I can remember hearing from AZ was this gem from Nas' second album. The Firm, which was comprised of Nas, AZ, Foxy Brown & Nature, was not only a great group of lyricists, they were a bunch of New Yorkers who made an album with the West Coast's most prolific producer, Dr. Dre. This was particularly significant at the time, considering all the East Coast-West Coast beef that was going on at the time.

AZ dropped a pretty good album earlier this year, and I'm sad to admit that it's the first album of his that I own. But I'm up on game now, and dude is definitely a legit rhyme spitter. The way he puts words together is almost unparalleled.

Nas, of course, was supposed to put out an album called "Nigger", but the rich white people said there was no way in hell they were gonna let that happen. He then decided to just call it "Untitled". AZ, who was inspired by his homey's movement, put together a little mixtape of his own called "N.4.L.", short for Nigger 4 Life. I would tell you to download it, but you could just check the goodness for yourself.

Oden, Mopeds & The Light

2008-10-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

Does this look like a 20-year-old kid to you? Yeah, me neither. I'm gonna need to see some ID...

Discussion on Oden's (second) injury, the beginning of the NBA season, and the significance of the Phillies' World Series win.

Also, the fourth official Bonehead Athlete of the Week. You really can't makes this stuff up, people.

Murders, Psychos & Shones

2008-10-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most of you have heard by now about the tragic deaths of Jennifer Hudson's family members. Some further details on that situation are discussed, and I also share my opinion on a few things.

Also, I think it's time we talk about hoes. Or shones. Or sluts or smeazes or...well, you get the point.

Throwback Thursdays: Jay-Z feat. Amil & Big Jaz - Jigga What, Jigga Who (Originator 99) (1999)

2008-10-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

...Or "Nigga What, Nigga Who", if you prefer the album version. Memorable song, considering that Jay-Z started his career with Jaz waayyyy back in the day. Also, this is the one of the first songs that Hova ever made with Timbaland. It's possible that this song is responsible for starting a producer/rapper relationship that garnered a number of hits for Jay-Z in the future.

One thing you automatically notice is that he raps a lot faster on this record than he does on the rest of the album. When you look at how Jay-Z used to rap, it seems as though this song may have been a tribute to his old days. Not only in Jaz on it, he called it Originator 99, which shouts out one of their songs from 1990.

As far as Amil goes, she's pretty much worthless. When Memphis Bleek even makes you look like you're not holding your weight, well, you've got problems. I remember when they had that one song off the Dynasty album with Jay, Beans, Bleek and Amil. The three dudes went in, and then they gave her like six bars at the very end. Just pathetic.

Where is Amil now, you ask? Well, she hasn't dropped an album since 2000, and the last thing I heard from her is this. I know the beat has been overdone, but with a name like "Amil", she really couldn't pass that up.

DUIs, The Juice & The Scale

2008-10-22T13:30:00.000-07:00

Seriously, there were so many candidates for Bonehead Athlete of the Week, I almost spent the whole time discussing them.

Of course, I still found some time to talk about an age-old pastime amongst American males: The 10 Scale.

Colin, Palin & Tampa Bay

2008-10-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I stand corrected. I salute you, Tampa Bay, and thanks for proving me wrong.

Also, commentary on Palin's appearance on SNL, McCain's appearance on Letterman, and Colin Powell's shocking new endorsement.

Red Sox, Alcohol & Pacman

2008-10-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, y'all. I know I came kinda late with Throwback Thursdays last night; my apologies on that. But what better way to make up for it than a new post to usher in the weekend??

Today's post discusses the Red Sox's amazing win last night, my opinion on Pacman Jones' supposed alcohol problems, and a few short notes on Tuesday's Presidential debate.

Throwback Thursdays: Mobb Deep - Shook Ones Pt. II (1995)

2008-10-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

Whenever I hear this song, it make me feel some sort of way. When the beat drops, it's just so gangsta. It's so street. It's so New York.

Frankly, I can't think of too many songs that are more representative of that New York feel than this one here. The only song that I can think of that even comes close would be, of course, this classic.

One interesting note about Shook Ones is that although it was Mobb Deep's first official single, it was undoubtedly their biggest song. In other words, the rest of their career never compared to their first record. Kinda sad, when you think about it.

To be honest, it would be hard for anyone to live up to this song. It's really a great record. The beat knocks crazy, and the lyrics contain gems like "Rock you in your face, stab your brain wit your nosebone." I can remember how amped I got when I was watching 8 Mile and this beat dropped for Rabbit's final freestyle.

So where are they now? Well, last I heard of Mobb Deep, they had signed with G-Unit in a last-minute attempt to sell records. That, of course, didn't work. Havoc supposedly dropped a solo album called "The Kush" in 2007, but I never heard any singles for it. And as for Prodigy, he got locked up for some gun possession charges, and claims the police tried to get him to frame 50 Cent.

He still managed to drop an album this past April, though. And if you don't know what H.N.I.C. means, step your game up.