Thursday, January 7, 2010

What Women Want

"Girrrrrl, lemme tell you... It's like everything was going so well, you know? But then, it seems like the more I get to know him, he just... ugh, I don't know. It's like he just doesn't get it! Why doesn't he get it?? Why doesn't he UNDERSTAND me??"

Famous conversation piece amongst women, no? In fact, how many women reading this haven't been in this very discussion? It seems that girls often talk about how little we men know about their desires and needs in the context of a relationship. And quite frankly, that's because we don't. But although I will be the first to admit that women are damn near impossible to figure out (much less to please), I do think there are a number of very basic needs that every woman looks for in men that they are attracted to. Simple desires that even we should be able to figure out. So, for the benefit of any man who may read this blog, I have listed what I believe to be the five most basic things that the average woman will require from a significant other...

1. Good conversation
Let's be honest here: Women love to talk. This is no surprise. And depending on the individual, she may want nothing more than for your ass to just listen to her and pretend to be interested. But of course, if the woman is any more than an incessant chatterbox, she's gonna want you to do some talking as well. Anyone can text, but can you put in work on the phone? Too many of us guys just don't know how to keep good, intriguing conversation, and I'm willing to bet that that's a major turn-off for a lot of women. Try to show her that you have some sort of intellect, because keeping a woman intrigued is way more important than getting her to think you're cute.

2. Keep her smiling/laughing
Although I've never heard a man say this, women almost ALWAYS say they want a man that can make them laugh. This actually plays into the first point; if you can't keep good conversation and you're boring, why would any woman want to talk to you? Ever?? I think the underlying issue, more than a woman wanting a funnyman, is that girls want to see that you have some sort of a personality. Often times, one's personality can be determined by their sense of humor. Now, don't get it twisted... this doesn't mean you should actively be making a litany of jokes in an attempt to cajole a chuckle out of her. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself, and more times than not, she'll end up smiling.

3. Good sex
Does it sound shallow? Absolutely. But is it true? Most definitely. And if you don't think a girl will stop talking to a guy because the sex sucks, I would suggest that you ask some of your female friends. I've heard some stories; you'd be surprised. Now, I'm a firm believer that no one can be inherently bad in bed. But I do understand that different people want and expect different things sexually, and it's our job as men to adjust to what our partner wants. However, ladies, a large bit of the responsibility falls on your shoulders, as well. If you don't tell us the sex is bad or suggest ways to improve, we'll be none the wiser, and the sex will continue to suck. So don't talk behind his back about him being lame. If you like him enough and you want things to get better, do like Drake and say something.

4. Ambition
Now, I'm only 23, and most of the people I know that read this blog are also under 30. At our age (and especially in this economy), no woman is really expecting you to be paying your own mortgage with a Mercedes Benz and a 4-car garage. Hell, a full-time job isn't even a guarantee nowadays. But one thing that the recession has not changed is women's desire to find a man with some sort of ambition and drive. Regardless of where you are in life, women want to know that you have issues that you're passionate about and that you are making progressive strides to better yourself. If you are going nowhere in life and seem content remaining blase, that most certainly will not help your cause.

5. Make her feel special
I saved this one for last because it's really the most important one. Above all else, all a woman really wants is for a man to make her feel special. That's it. Everything else on this list comes secondary. So put her on a pedestal. Treat her like a queen. Do a bunch of mushy sh*t. Making a woman feel special will give you so many brownie points that you can afford to mess up on a few thing here and there and still keep her, because she knows how good you make her feel (no Monster's Ball). Keep this in mind, and you really can't lose.

Of course, in order to insure the accuracy of this list, I had to think on the other side of things. If these are the things girls want, what are the main things women complain about? In my opinion, I would say women most complain that men: a) aren't faithful, b) are too boring, or c) are too selfish/self-centered. If this is true, I think my list stands up pretty well. Being unfaithful goes against #5, because cheating is the biggest way NOT to show a woman she's special to you, since you're basically telling her you need something better. Being too boring goes against #1 and #2, and she'll quickly become disinterested in you. (Being too boring might even go against #3 too, but that's a whole 'nother blog post.) And being self-centered goes against #1 and #5, because as much as women like to talk, no girl likes to hear a guy talk incessantly about himself. And of course, a selfish man won't make a girl feel special.

In short, just follow these rules, and you can't go wrong. Have I ever steered you wrong before?


Aaron said...

the love doctor has spoken.

Jay Luj said...

Someone women who are a lil you know shallow put another category into this list which overrides ambition and its SPENDING MONEY. It's not that she cares where you get the money or even if your mom gives it 2 u. As long as you spend some money on her she'll ignore half the things on this list. It's funny and sad but very true. Women sell out to money much easier than guyz do. A guy is a guy is a guy. If the shorty's smacked and she's rich, as a guy ur not even gonna care she has money. Women at times when they r in pursuit for successful men they tend to throw these "5" in the waste basket. I've seen this time and time again. Most guyz wonna jus make it or not all on their own.

Kandia said...

I like your list...#'s 1 and 5 are crucial.

JPIink Renique said...

Well... Of course --> I <-- agree, lol. I mean,, I'm a talker. So of course dude has to have good conversation. I'm a goofball so keeping me laughing and smiling is very necessary... good sex... um... to be real honest,, its more like good head for me! lol. but as your friend say,, money is important. and not only for shallow girls... but spoiled ones too! lol. you really hit all the good points tho. good job.

Jay Luj said...

Good head thus a good one.....taking notes. U can also spoil a girl wit free things like a trip to a park. Not a walk but a trip to a free park or museum. Lol